Fried Eggs in an Envelope: Headlines To-Go

Today’s Egg Tree News briefs in a convenient to-go envelope:

***Adorable bubblehead eating off paper plate at office buddy’s New Years party wonders aloud why nobody has ever invented paper pots for cooking***Evil genius African Grey parrot originally bought as fifth grade class pet has now cunningly usurped role of teacher***Middle School Science Fair a surreal landscape of dormant paper-mache volcanoes, tortured houseplants, primitive robots, and moldy bread***President Obama to address national security threat “just as soon as he’s done snorkeling in Hawaii”***Polite family of ducks waits patiently at crosswalk signal***Local aerobics instructor takes shot of vodka before class “just to kill her nerves”***Lakota Nation suing James Arthur Ray for desecration of sacred sweatlodge ritual and general new-age douchebaggery***

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