Casey Anthony’s check fraud trial, originally set to begin later this month, has been postponed yet again, because apparently Judge Stan Strickland is still tunneling his way out of the avalanche of bizarre defense motions pertaining to the case. Among the defense’s requests:
1. Swimsuit Mondays and Topless Fridays
2. Permission for Jose to perform David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” (in costume) in lieu of an opening statement
3. Motion to release butterflies in the courtroom whenever someone on the defense team farts.
4. Motion to sequester all jurors in the year 2000, and transport them to the courtroom via time-machine.
5. A professional “tearjerker” to spray onion juice in Casey’s eyes whenever she is supposed to show complex emotion called “sadness.”
6. Motion to invent a law permitting all generically pretty, self-described “10’s” to rob friends and family blind, so they can afford neccessities like beer and bras from Target.
7. Permission to unleash a wild tiger on Amy Huizenga during her testimony.
8. Motion for a giant gumball machine to be installed in the courtroom, with a dedication plaque to Cindy Anthony (gumballs will be $3/ea, all proceeds go to the CMA Foundation).
9. A never-ending tub of Chex Party Mix with cut-up hot dogs under the defense table.
10. Permission for Baden and The Lyon to play a round of “Twister” on the courtroom floor during all the prosecution’s lackluster testimony.
11. Motion for Jose to wear court-jester costume for the duration of the trial (except on Swimsuit Mondays and Topless Fridays).
12. Permission for ‘OrlandoEast’ to testify as a character witness for Casey.