Today’s Egg Tree News Briefs in a convenient, to-go envelope:
***Grammy report: rapper Kanye West lurks in the wings with a baseball bat, waiting for Taylor Swift to collect her award. In a related story, Beyonce collects a record breaking six Grammys.
***Safeway Select Chili introduces local man to new love interest, “Zantac 150″***
***Senior citizens nationwide organize formal protest against automobile turn signals***
***Singer Lady Gaga shocks everyone at Grammy Awards by performing “Pokerface” dressed as Eric Cartman from “South Park.” ****
***Inspired by church sermon on “Power of Water,” local man coats face with peanut butter and allows sister to blast it off with garden hose***
***Psychiatrist scribbles furiously about patient’s hangnail complaint***