Sportsmanship Officially Declared Dead by Pissy Russian Figure Skater

-Olympic Games, Vancouver, British Columbia

Good sportsmanship was officially declared dead last week by miffed figure skater Yevgeny Plushenko, who threw a stiff hissy fit after suffering the ultimate embarassment of winning a mere silver medal at the Olympic Games. Plushenko, who won the gold medal in 2006, had hoped to stay on his throne of entitlement in Vancouver, but was forced to hand his crown over to American winner Evan Lysacek. The pissy Russian begrudgingly accepted the judge’s decision, but not without first taking a sledgehammer to the notion of friendly competition, then spitting all over the remains.

While Plushenko pulled off a technically challenging quadruple jump (with a shaky landing which cost him points), his program lacked the overall artistic merit the judges saw in Lysacek’s performance. But Plushenko, brazenly confident that wobbly execution of ONE difficult jump should have landed him on the gold platform, seized the opportunity to piss all over the judging system, and Lysacek. “I think we need to change the judging system because quad is quad,” the sore loser whined afterward about the totally unrequired element. “If Olympic champion doesn’t know how to jump quad, I don’t know. Now it’s not men’s figure skating, now it’s dancing. That’s my point.”

With the sport and its new champion securely buried in the rubble of the Russian’s insults, Plushenko then boldly skated to the medal ceremony and stepped right up on the gold platform, where he clearly had explained he belonged. When he finally acquiesced and stepped down to the silver platform, it was with a scowl and a scoff at Lycasek’s victory. At the conclusion of the American national anthem, Plushenko took off his humiliating silver medal of shame, and skated in a huff to the opposite side of the rink, where security actually had to redirect him to the proper exit.

Apparently over-indulging on the sour grapes, the pompous prima donna arrived 10 minutes late to the post-competition press conference, and delivered another kick to the groin. “I was convinced that I won,” he told reporters, “but I suppose that Evan needed this gold medal more than I,” he bragged passive aggressively. “Maybe because I already had one. It’s not that bad, three Olympic medals, one gold and two silver.”

Well, as long as he can put it all in perspective.

And with that final tasteful comment, he walked right out, officially leaving sportsmanship in a pool of blood in the corner.


35 responses to this post.

  1. Now, how the hell did my comment end up at the last post? Ok, Sunday Feb. 21 comment take #2:
    Well, isn’t he just an ass? Rats, too bad I missed that show. See, he is probably from some little muddy crap mountain village in Russia. Like Gary Indiana is here, the arm pit of the U.S. So, he thinks he is all hot stuff and Mr. Hollywood with the Olympics and all. Besides, those Ruskies are hot headed with their tempers anyway. I don’t watch the Olympics too often, it’s like watching paint dry.
    I’m glad that they can do those Earth shattering, Red Sea parting, mind blowing quad jumps for the world instead of like finding a cure for cancer or something. Good for them. Skate and shut up.
    I’m going to do the world some good and wash my dog now.

    • Hey Carol! I’ve really only watched the figure skating so far, cuz I skated competitively until was about 14, so I like watching that. But the rest is kinda like watching grass grow, I know what u mean. While the quad is definitely tough, it shouldn’t be a sole determining factor, and the guy is so stern and arrogant… He already got a gold in ’06, so I don’t know why he’s such a spoilsport about it all. LOL, maybe this mindblowing loss will eventually motivate him to do something important, like cure world hunger! πŸ˜†

  2. Egg; did you ever run into Tanya Harding in your part of the world while you were skating?
    Ok, now I’m really dating myself and most of you are probably too young to know of these guys….Remember Boris and Natasha on Rocky and Bullwinkle? Were’nt they just the cat’s ass? I was just thinking of Ruskies. They were always sore losers too.

    • No maam, never ran into Tanya. She made it big a few years after I quit, and then of course she had Galooly thwack Kerrigan in the knee with the crowbar a couple years later, in a well-thought-out plot to sabotage the competition. The big names when I was skating were Brian Boitano and Katarina Witt.

      My memories of Rocky and Bullwinkle are hazy; I was REALLY little the few times I ever saw it, so I barely remember…

      Hey, I checked my spam folder, and ’twas empty. Nuttin from nobody in there… Are you sure you aren’t smokin crack? πŸ˜†

      • SHHHHHH Carol’s comment is over in Tiger’s thread. Maybe there has been a lil toking on the crack pipe goin on. Or could it be a vast conspiracy to confuse us (the loyal, dedicated Eggtreenews fans) so that we start mindlessly posting and pontificating all over the site with no rhyme or reason? OMG it would be chaos. Pass that pipe, I need a hit.

        • Passin on the left, MJ! πŸ˜†

          • I hear you both. I have ears everywhere. It may be cabin fever or the winter dold drums that have my brain fried or the snow half way up the windows – ugh. That’s probabaly what made Puhnska so pissed off. Snow madness. Could be that the hub quit smoking two weeks ago and that he is driving me nuts also. I’ll have to check with some normal people…..I’ll ask Tanya!

  3. Posted by Sanny on February 22, 2010 at 6:31 am

    Are they still sent to the Gulag if they don’t come back with a Gold?


    Sounds like this Prima Donna is showing his SOUR GRAPES.

    • Hey Sanny! I think they’ve revised their punishment system, and now the losers (i.e. Silver and bronze winners) go to Tanya Harding’s “sports therapy and rehab center” where she and Galooly smash all their kneecaps to bits with crowbars. :mrgreen:

  4. Hey Sanny; I think they are just cut off from their weekly government vodka supplement.

  5. Tsk tsk, tsk……. what a baby-inska! Wah wah He’ll never get his face on the Wheaties box, big deal. When are these one trick ponies gonna learn, it’s all about us. We really don’t give 2 rubles about his crappy performance. We want our dude to win. In fact I tune in just to see some guy make an assinsky out of himself in a meltdown Runnianstyle. At least I wasn’t disappointed. Thanks Plushenko.

    And speaking of Plushenko, wasn’t that a game on The Price Is Right? The contestant dropped some kind of puck looking thing in a maze……could have been one of his ancestor’s invention or more likely a drinking game. The first one’s puck to get the bottom got to drink the lighter fluid out of the Zippo, but I digress………

    Hey Carol, just want you to know Tanya Harding (one of my absolute faves on Worlds Dumbest) was the very first person that popped into my head when I read this and next…yep, Boris and Natasha!

    Eggy~ want ya to know I’m in awe of you. ice skating is hard to me and yous guys make it look sooo easy and beautiful. Sniff…I’m so proud of you

    • MJ, so you’re back for more time wasting hey? I can’t stay long, have to finish shoveling the front walk from the 6 inches of fricking snow that I am sick to death off. That’s why I am a little (?) bitchy lately.
      Yes, I too, am proud of you Egg. You are a fine woman. I forgot to mention that.
      ‘Plushnik’ was a character on Saturday night live wasn’t he? He sounds like one of Tele Tubbies or Muppets, or should be. He should be able to get a gig on the circuit Disney on Ice.
      Tanya is fabulous, love her hair, brillant actress. She thinks she is a shining star on Dumbest and doesn’t even realize that everyone is making fun of her. A real blond.
      The only thing Russia is good for is their vodka and caviar.

      • Carol, I hear the monstrous irritation you have about the snow, too bad folks can’t use convicts for that. A variation on the chain gang, like a shovel brigade. Instead of them kicking back and weight lifting and living off my dime they could be making themselves useful. I don’t live in a cold area but there’s plenty o chores they could do around here. Have a hot cocoa or sumpin after you get done.
        Russia seems to export a lot of their females for mail order brides, I’d probably want to get away from there too.

      • Carol, you oughtta get some strapping young buck to shovel all that snow for ya. Sweeten the deal with a 6-pack. Let em be a hero.

        Shucks, ya guys are makin me go 😳 with all the praise. πŸ™‚

        I think Plushenko would make a great wicked stepsister in the Disney On Ice rendition of Cinderella. That’s his true calling.

        • Yea, it would be just dandy to be able to pull some of these young kids off their snow mobiles or quad runners and shovel here. But, no, they have to tear around on the lake and use up gas, the bastards. I like MJ’s chain gang idea for show removal and then mail it to Russia. They like snow. The 4 inches we are getting again tomorrow is going to sit there and rot before I shovel it again. I’ll show ’em! HA!
          Skating update: In the couples figure skating – Canada in first, America, second and Russia third. They suck any way you slice it. Go home already.

    • Howdy MJ! πŸ˜†

      LOVED Plinko on Price is Right, one of my all time fave games on that show, second only to the yodeling mountain climber.

      Fun fact: after being banned from the skating world, Tanya took up “celebrity wrestling,” in a different country. Can’t remember exactly where.

      Ahh, MJ… My cup runneth over! I haven’t skated in years, and I really miss it sometimes. Its hard, but its also really fun. Dig it.

  6. As most of this country, I was shocked that Plushy stood on the platform for the Gold. It made me think isn’t it time that the skaters had to wear platform shoes in the color of their medal? Like garanimal clothing for children, there will be no uncertainty. Gold winners wear gold platform shoes and step on the gold platform. If not, we’ll know that something is not right.

    • Perfect system, 4wrdthnkndad! And the gold medal winner should do the PeeWee Herman dance to “Tequila!”in lieu of the national anthem. πŸ˜†

    • Simple, straightforward and universal. No need for interpretors, I think even Plusky could understand it! We should submit the shoe idea immediately.
      With brass balls like his, it is possible that they got in his way and he was forced to get on the wrong platform because of the bulky bulge betwixt his legs??

  7. Did you see the speed skater Sven Kramer that skated eight laps in the wrong lane and lost it all looking at his girlfriend in the stands? The poor smuck. Way to go Netherlands. Those women will get you every time.

    • Ah, amore’. Next year his former flame can tell her current lover what a loser Sven is. Next time he should paste a pic of his girl on a rival’s ass and maybe he can stay the course, just sayin.

    • Go Netherlands, indeed! And to think they can smoke dope and speak 4 languages… But a pretty girl in the stands is enough to distract em…. πŸ˜†

  8. Posted by Sanny on February 24, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    This guy is a ‘has been’…….and in fear that the Gulag’ will get him.

    Ok….he WAS good way back when……but let’s face it…..he lost the GOLD…

    Is this what the Russians consider ‘Good Sportsmanship’???

    He now has his own medal……it Platnimum…..but it’s all his own concocksum……

    Show that to the Big Officials in the Soviet Union or whatever they are calling themselves today.

    Get over it…….YOU LOST THE GOLD !!!!!

    • Sanny, let’s send him a tin foil or card board medal. All losers can wear one. Not for shower wearing, like that one guy was going to do. What a freakazoidsky.

    • Sanny, that concocksum thing, that’s something that will prevent him from defecting over here won’t it? Do people still defect or has the country become so corrupt and worthless that they don’t care?
      Guess I should bone up on current events, Doh!

      Carol~ good to see you, yes I’m kicking back looking for kix. I’m amused so easily these days. Wish Eggy would write another in depth piece about some other loser so I can chime in, Eggy and all her followers are an inspiration to me. Can I have a medal too ? I want a pretty one with puff paint and sparkles. TIA

    • Sanny, I think he’s pissed cuz Russia just took his family’s studio apartment and 1979 Mercedes away due to his silver medal of shame…. πŸ™‚

  9. Hey MJ. Yea, pretty slow around the old water cooler today. I don’t know if I am in spam world or not, so I will repost. Great, I love looking like an idiot- again.
    People don’t have to defect in the USA. They just walk in, find the nearest S.S. office, get on rent assistance, food stamps and find other people to speak their lingo. Whoosh, they magically open a gas station or conveinance store. Who knew it would be so easy?
    Are you sure you don’t need two of those sparkly, pink medals for those crazy, wild date nights? Wink, wink, tee, hee.

    • carol, so sorry to hear you’ve gotten lost in the abyss again. It’s so hard to repeat a really perfect post, greatness only happens in the moment but your explanation about immigrants is very informative. I’ve also noticed that motels and hotels seem to be a hot spot for newcomers with a wad of govt. cash.
      Surprisingly the trucking industry has many many swarthy creepy guys that can’t speak English, wonder if they can read obscure signs, like Road closed ahead, take detour or bridge closed for repairs. There are some crazy stories out in trucker land about our new citizens. ( i know some insiders) Our govt. is quick to wand and frisk haggard mothers traveling with toddlers but gives out licenses to middle easterners willy nilly to drive humongous vehicles through out America.

      Ya know what? All this talk of a wide open door policy and the idiots that think it’s a good idea has put me in a cranky funk. I think a couple of those fancy shmancy medals would perk me right up, I’d like 2 that have those bullseye spinners on them. Maybe it would sorta hypnotize some drunk at the local bar. No wink, wink about it, game on.

  10. Egg; I’m stuck in the LaBrea tar pits of spam land – help, I’m sinking fast.

  11. Egg; I can just taste the new thread that you are whipping up. I’ll eat lunch first and check back.

    • Don’t hold your breath, Carol, I haven’t even found anything on George’s pity-party to satire. But I do have another post about ready to come outta the oven! πŸ™‚

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: