Intellectually challenged defense attorney and marginal human being Jose Baez has filed yet another slew of delusional motions on behalf of his client and personal booty call, accused murderess Casey Anthony. Apparently content living in the Anthony fantasy world, where the tapwater contains chloroform, and “Perfect 10 Nanny” is code for “Meter Reader,” the porridge-brained bikini-salesman-turned-lawyer dug his heels into his Wonderlandish illusions, and actually kept a straight face while placing this latest flaming sack of dog crap on Strickland’s desk.
His first FANTASTIC request was to declare the reigning tabloid murder-gossip Princess a mere pauper, hoping to force the state of Florida to foot the bill for her trial. While Casey miraculously raked in the dough to pay the Dream Team for the last 2 years by selling pictures of her murdered child Caylee to any media outlet with a checkbook, Jose now claims the cost of a death penalty case far exceeds the funds available from dead Caylee’s piggybank. This motion was nicely timed right on the heels of parents George and Cindy Anthony announcing foreclosure on their home, despite the hundreds of thousands of blood-soaked dollars they’ve sucked out of their family tragedy by touring the media circuit and flooding the jury pool with lies. Perhaps the whole family will appear before Judge Strickland in Hobo attire, covered in soot, to sing “Woe is Me.”
Next on the agenda: Motion to block the jury from hearing Cindy’s 911 calls reporting that her daughter’s car reeked of a dead body. Clearly lost in the non-logic that governs Anthonyland, Jose calls former nurse Cindy’s analysis of the smell “speculation,” and therefore prejudicial against his client/ steady lay, Casey. No word on whether Cindy will wheel her refrigerator into the courtroom and liken the horrid smell coming from the car to the science experiment growing in her vegetable crisper.
Also on Jose’s wish list: Motion to block the jury from seeing pictures of Casey partying like a rock star at Club Fusian just days after Caylee was “kidnapped” by an elusive Perfect 10 Nanny named Zenaida who is actually meter reader Roy Kronk. These pictures, Jose contends, are entirely prejudicial, and portray Casey in an ugly light. So what if she’s dry-humping a scantily clad girl in a cocaine-fueled Hot Body dance contest, having the time of her life while her toddler is missing? We all grieve differently. Don’t blame her, blame the pictures.
There are plenty more motions included in Jose’s Ode to Wonderland, but that’s all I can analyze without dry heaving. Time to come out of the rabbit hole…