Infamous cyborg-supervillain Brad Conway announced recently that he will no longer be representing George and Cindy Anthony, the parents of accused murderess and sperm receptacle Casey Anthony. But before affixing lightning bolts to his wheelchair and rocketing into the sunset, the nefarious superpower posed a bizzare riddle to the media in an attempt to ‘explain’ his departure:
“…I am now a witness to an inaccurate legal pleading filed in our court system. As such, I cannot continue in good conscience as a legal representative. George and Cindy Anthony have done nothing improper, it is the failure of the defense to verify the facts alleged in their motion that forces my withdrawal…”
Conwheels is of course referring to Baez and the Turd Herd’s umpteenth mindnumbing motion to obtain TES volunteer search records. In the motion (yet another priceless gem from Jose’s treasured mind), the Hispanic Hero relentlessly whines that Brad was given full access to the records in question, while the lowly Turds were forced to weather rejection by the courts.
But Conway’s riddle has left scholars and legal analysts scratching their heads, indeed. “This is right up there with the riddle of the Egyptian sphinx,” said one commentator, speaking on the condition of anonymity. “How does Jose’s chronic stupitude regarding the TES motions impair Conway’s ability to represent George and Cindy,” inquired the baffled witness, as he cocked his head to one side and began stroking his beard in deep thought.
Another analyst echoed the sentiment. “I’m having trouble connecting the dots with this one, to say the least; there has to be an answer, though. He took a quick left at the traffic light, and I can’t catch up to his thinking.”
Yet another reporter had this to say following Conway’s statement:
“What the f**k, dude?”
Mark Nejame and Tim Miller of TES are offering a reward of immortality for anyone who can decode the riddle and explain what the hell Conwheels is talking about.