Local Attorney-idjit Surprises Court With Reverse Insanity Plea

This article is brought to you by Egg Tree News Correspondent Spacely “The Bull Dawg” Bullstopper:

-Orlando, FL

In a twist worthy of a straight-to-DVD movie-of-the-week, local attorney-idjit Jose Baez surprises the Orange County Court administrating the Casey Anthony murder trial with a pleading of insanity, but not for his client or his over-aged co-counsel.

During an emergency hearing Friday evening, Mr. Baez demonstrated several signs of disorientation and confusion. As prosecutor Jeff Ashton explained his motion and the reason for the hearing, Mr. Baez spun in his chair and twirled his pen as if performing in a high school talent show. When invited by Judge Perry to orate his side of the argument, Mr. Baez began by stating he was not even sure why he was at the podium.

“‘I quite frankly don’t know why we’re here,’ Baez told Judge Perry after the state put forth their reason for wanting the hearing.” – http://www.wftv.com/news/26089105/detail.html

As his rambling continued, his co-counsel Cheney Mason sweated profusely and conferred with his client. Upon Mr. Baez’s announcement he was speaking about a case which had 350+ expert witnesses listed by the prosecution, Mr. Mason was seen to write furiously on his legal pad, stopping only once to mumble to himself. One short note later to Judge Perry led to an immediate order for the court to recess. Mr. Mason was seen sprinting to Judge Perry’s private chambers for what is assumed to be a private conference.

As Mr. Baez exited the courthouse, he was taken into custody by several large men in white jackets. Witnesses report they fitted him with a specially designed jacket to prevent injuries to himself or others, secured him in a white van, and sped away. Sources close to the case say the Baker Act may be involved.

Gambling establishments worldwide took a beating from the unexpected event. Las Vegas bookie Dubble Ernutting, long-time Eggtree News industry consultant, stated the odds prior to this hearing had been Mr. Mason out by dementia versus Mr. Baez finding any way of resigning from this trial by a margin of 200 to 1.

In a bizarre case, this may be the most bizarre event yet.

Eggtree News Correspondent Spacely

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14 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by nums24 on December 10, 2010 at 10:49 pm

    Hilarious! You speak the truth! I so needed this, thank you!

  2. Posted by 38special on December 10, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    Bull Dawg! You crack me up but I’m feelin’ the loss in my pocketbook if you know what I mean, damn the odds were definitely favoring the old geezer…oh well

    With this news has the world tilted crazy and will we next see our poor waif inmate getting her skank on with Mason or Finnell prancing in the courtroom in Fredericks of Hollywood?
    Whatever happens I know we can count on Eggtree News to be the first to report it.

  3. Posted by nums24 on December 10, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    This is perfect!

    Video Report – Baez after today’s hearing!

    [video src="http://www.cfnews13.com/video?clip=http://static.cfnews13.com/newsvideo/cfn/1210CaseyHearing_121020101047.flv" /]

  4. Posted by offthecuff on December 11, 2010 at 7:09 am

    You have explained the reason for such pandemonium. Will the hospital let Baez out to complete his role for trial?

  5. Posted by BEES KNEES on December 11, 2010 at 8:14 am

    Bull Dawg, thank you for explaining what happened yeterday! Their confusion does seem to be getting worse the nearer we get to trial.

  6. Posted by Swift Justice on December 11, 2010 at 9:08 am

    ROFLMAO…….

    Wishing it were true…..but still laughing aloud.

  7. Hi Egg!!! HAHAHA!!!! Another great post as always! Thank you Spacely too! Since it is almost Christmas, here is my present for you all:

    T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

    T’was the night before Christmas and all through the court house,
    Not an inmate was stirring, only their louse. (lice)

    The handcuffs were hung by the jail entry door,
    In hopes that St. Strickland would’ve been there more.

    The audience was all nestled steadfast in their chairs,
    while visions of Casey with bean dip in her hairs.

    Sindy in her death jewelry and I at my home,
    had just settled in for a gala hour storm.

    When out of the side door, there arose such a clatter,
    It was WF without even a splatter.

    Away to the TV, I flew like a flash,
    turned up the volume to hear the rehash.

    The hair on the breast of the new felon lay,
    Gave the luster of pigs feet in old barn yard hay.

    When what to my popping eyes should appear,
    but a little turtle in a shirt pocket, it was very clear.

    With giggly Tubesocks so nervous and queer,
    I knew it was him by the smell of the beer.

    More rapid than lightening, Ashton tore down the walls,
    He shouted and yelled all through the court halls.

    Now George, now Sindy and all you known thieves,
    Spit out that gum, there will be no reprieves.

    To the top of the stand, backs to the walls,
    Now dash away, dash away, there will be no more stalls.

    As I laughed in my head and was yearning for second round,
    Down came Judge Perry’s gavel with a great pound.

    His eyes how they wrinkled, his cheeks were like cherries,
    His statement how shocking, his voice how it carries.

    He had a frowned face and a little round belly,
    That jiggled his chair when he heard something smelly.

    A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
    Soon gave me to know, that soon she would be dead.

    Bozo sprang to his car to escape all the press
    Mason being trampled behind, a flattened gray mess.

    But I heard him explain as he drove out of sight,
    My client is innocent, I was with her that night.

    By me, myself and I.

  8. Egg, this is from my good friend, Brad ‘shopping cart’ Conway. He will coming along shortly. Just a brilliant analogy any way you slice it! HA!

    “I have no idea why I’m here.” Oh Bozo, you have no idea how many people agree with that statement. God bless you for telling the truth just this once.

  9. Posted by maxineme on December 11, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    Boaz and that remark reminded me of the old guy running for vice President on Ross Perot’s ticket. He comes to the VP debates, and says something like, who am I and why am I here? It was a moment very reminiscent of the hearing Friday,
    Great article Bull

  10. i so neeeded this thnks you

  11. Posted by Danna on December 13, 2010 at 7:16 am

    lol, why IS Baez there? one of lifes great mysteries.

  12. So thats what Cindy was up to at the end of the hearing.She was mimeing putting a coat on I thought.She was realy demonstrating the correct way to place one in restraints via use of a straight Jacket..After all Cindy would know.Being a nurse an all…

  13. Yes, eco; Cindy was doing a demonstation for us for her future straight jacket designer line that she will copyright and promote soon!
    I’m just glad that Baez gave her back her hangers from the murderer’s fabulous court wear dejour outfit. Ugh. The cost of hangers nowadays can put you in the poor house!

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