Egg Tree News poses a query: Who is the biggest nut in this fruitcake of a case? I’m talkin bats in the belltower nutty. Your choices:
Mama “Gremlin on Meth” Cindy Anthony
Swamp Explorer (but not really, but maybe, for totally seriously) Laura Buchanan
Homicidal Harlot and Sperm Receptacle Casey Anthony
Tree Hanging Spy and Baker Act Officionado Joy Wray
Jose “Juannie Cochrane” Baez
Shameless Media Whore and Bromantic Love Interest of Juannie Cochran, Gerrraldo (roll the r)
The Elusive Phenomenon Known as Todd Black/Gil Cabot
Local Internet Troll Michelle from Madison
Husky Misguided Sap River Cruz
Camera Hogging Sister of Husky Misguided Sap, Skye Cruz
Anger Management Dropout and Parasite Dennis Milstead
Local Fool George Anthony
Jane “Addiction Addict” Velez-Mitchell
Self-proclaimed psychic and dog vomit cleaner Gail St. John
Local Jackal and (jazz hands here) *SENSATIONAL* murder gossip Nancy Grace
Top Secret Encryption Analyst, Wrist Tonguer, and Proud Turtle Owner Lee Anthony
Portly girlfriend of Encryption Analyst, Wrist Tonguer, and Proud Turtle Owner, Mallory.
Magnum PI series Collector and Nature Enthusiast Dominic Casey
Gritty Documentary Director and Bumbling Boob Jim Hoover
Homeboy Who Tried to Sell the Caylee Sunshine Doll
Eccentric Matlock Impersonator Cheney Mason
Puerto Rico Census Consultant Melissa Earnest
Mediaslut fanatic and “Casey Fever” Brand Sunglasses Model Kulani (Bugeyed white sunglasses available exclusively from the CMA Foundation’s Fashion Line).
*Leonard “My Hat is Bigger than Yours” Padilla, who insisted he could crack the KC nut once he got her out of jail.
*Brad “I’m not making any money from this and, yes, we did sell a bunch of pics for a licensing fee and I did get a cut, but that’s not the same as making money” Conway.
*Todd “I swear this $70+ grand I am ‘donating’ to the cause is totally legit and not the money I embezzled from my clients and got disbarred over cause it wasn’t me, a STRANGER did it” Macaluso.
*Linda “Skype isn’t free enough” Kenney Baden. Some will say she is not nuts, but I have seen the guy she married…
*Dr. “These oranges aren’t fresh enough and what’s with all these hairs on them” Lee?
**James L. secret-agent-man and solver of all that was unsolved McIntyre.
**Anonymous jail bird and writer of the O-Town’s Finest “virgina monologues”.
**Mort “the witness said tomAto but we’ll claim they said tamAHto…or maybe even two-meters” Smith
**Action I’m-a-crazy-blog-commenter-who-spams-about-Casey’s-unimaginable-beauty-and-her-sweet-baby-Jesus-sacrifice-for-humanity Jackson
**Andrea “there’s no effing s in it and stop calling me bad names” Lyon
**Cheney-they said they were there and there was water because they said they couldn’t be there because there was water and they weren’t even there and there’s people saying they said they were there but…what case is this?…because there was water some where…I don’t know where I left my dentures…MARGARET! – Mason
**Holly PUT ME IN COACH I’M READY PLAY! Gagne
*Contributed by Correspondent Spacely “Bulldawg” Bullstopper
**Contributed by Valhall of The Hinky Meter