Egg Tree News Investigates: Is the Anthony Defense Team Partying With Charlie Sheen?

-Orlando, FL

Siiiiiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhh….

All of the half-baked stall tactics, halfa$$ed lawyering, grandiose posturing, and general douchebaggery and stupitude of Casey Anthony’s revolving door defense team over the last 3 years leaves one pondering a very simple question:

What the f**k is wrong with these people?

How can so many “professionals” be willing to flush their reputations down the toilet for one random homocidal slut in Florida? Are the defendant’s shark eyes and heaving bosom really so hypnotizing that seasoned attorneys disintegrate into bumbling fools in her presence? Or is there a deeper, darker secret behind all the madness? EggTreeNews digs deep to answer the question on everyone’s mind:

Are Casey’s attorneys partying with Hollywood madman Charlie Sheen?

It would certainly explain the nonstop parade of bobbleheads making jacka$$es of themselves on her behalf. In fact, in breaking news you will hear ONLY on this station, sources close to the case have spotted Jose Baez and Cheney Mason entering Sheen’s goddess-infested crackmansion and leaving days later on mercury surfboards, wearing vials of Charlie’s warlock tiger blood around their necks for good luck. “Baez and Charlie have become great friends,” says the source. “Last week, Jose gave him one of those heart shaped ‘Best Friend’ necklaces you break in half. In return, Charlie gave him a kilo of primo Columbian cocaine, a homemade golden crackpipe he smelted from soda cans stolen from Chuck Lorre’s recycling bin, and a notebook of self-authored inspirational haikus for the case. Charlie is indeed the genius running the show for the defense.”

Even more disturbing are rumors that Sheen will join the defense team (sans law degree) at the eleventh hour, just before the trial starts, to work his silk shirted-warlock-magic on the jury. And upon Casey’s acquittal, Sheen will allegedly join her on a cross-country RV trek, preaching the WORD at various venues for $250K a stop.

Book me a ticket OUT of America.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done.

πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Stay tuned to EggTree News for developments in this breaking story.

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29 responses to this post.

  1. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† I knew there was some sinister Hollywood connection………It all makes sense now! :mrgreen: Thanks Eggy for solving the mystery for us. Will we all need to bail to another country? Will they spread CEV into a nationwide epidemic??

    • Hi Niecey! The pieces fall right into place, huh? Charlie is the missing link that ties it all together, huh?! :mrgreen: CEV is likely to spread westward; Billie Dunn and Shawn Adkins are proof that it has infested Texas. I think our best bet is to hightail it to Europe ASAP. I hear Belgium is nice… πŸ™‚

      • Belgium does sound nice………I was rather hoping for the Mediteranean area, but we must be careful as Baez went to Paris. πŸ™„
        I do agree that it has spread to Texas, and of course Charlie Sheen is representative of the California connection, Elizabeth Johnson, proof it’s in Arizona,and she was also in Texas.

        Time is of the essence. :mrgreen:

  2. Posted by BEES KNEES on March 23, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Honey, you nailed it!!! And I’m not even in the States but I’m skeered too. That sh*t spreads, sure, and if it’s not over the border yet it won’t be long. I say we head for some Eastern European country.

    • Thanks Bees! I think we need to get those tickets purchased ASAP!

    • BEEEEEEESSS!!!! πŸ˜† Congrats on the brand new knee! Are you home from the hospital yet, and snuggled in bed? So good to see you darlin! Here’s to hopin they slipped a bionic knee in there while you were konked out, and you’ll be runnin marathons any day now!! πŸ˜†

      We can definitely rule out moving to Ireland; the disease has spread there, from Casey’s plan to adopt an Irish infant with a cute accent. πŸ™„

  3. Posted by 38special on March 23, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    I will take the bullet for the team and infiltrate the Warlock Alliance, it sounds like there’s some high caliber par-tay going on. I’ll dig out my old goddess outfits and hit it. Granted, I might better hit up the old Geezer first for info, surely he’ll recognize a Stevie Nicks filmy dress as goddess attire.
    They manage to f*ck themselves on a regular basis so really my mission will be to make sure that it stays that way. I might be able to talk them into a humanitarian aid mission to volunteer at the reactors in Japan. That ought to kill two birds with one stone so to speak. Keep the workers there out of harms way and snuff out the ‘disease’.

    • 38!!!! Hiya!!! πŸ˜† That’s a pretty wild crew you’ll be runnin with, so you gotta be careful. You’ll need backup in case somethin goes wrong. Maybe Bees will up for the mission!? She’s recovering rapidly, and has a brand new bionic knee to use. She’s like a superhero πŸ™‚

      I HEART the Stevie Nicks idea! Don’t forget the gypsy caftain, its the icing on the cake that will lure the old geezer in, you gypsy goddess, you! He’ll be putty in your hands in no time. πŸ™‚

      • What a TRUE PATRIOT! We are forever grateful 38. πŸ™‚

        • Posted by 38special on March 23, 2011 at 6:00 pm

          Niecy~ there’s room for more. You could blog right from the mansion! Promise to think about it.

          • I promise. 😎

          • Niecey would make an excellent spy! she could be Kristy MacVie to 38’s Stevie Nicks!! πŸ˜†

            • I’m up for the task…… 😎 Now all we need is Val to figure out the best scientific way to dump them at the nuke plant, without becoming contaminated, either from CEV or the radiation. (just in case they don’t buy the humanitarian mission)

              You know………I just had a thought…….Casey’s stare is so cold she could stare at the reactors (cooling them off) while we stop up the vents with the defense team…This way no one gets hurt. 😎 Then we could just leave them all there. You think Japan would be mad?

              • Posted by 38special on March 23, 2011 at 7:43 pm

                !!! Kristy(Niecy) you are going to be the brains of this group. Tapping ‘dead eye kc’ is pure genius. Yes, for sure the plan was always to leave the warlocks at the plant.Japan can encase them in concrete, It’s a win/win! They’re all useless anyway and we can relocate the EggTree Empire to Malibu. I’m excited, tiger blood excited.

              • Posted by eggtreenews on March 23, 2011 at 10:31 pm

                Niecey, YOU are a goddess with a plan! Channeling the Ice Queen’s stare is the PERFECT method to cool those reactors.
                I don’t think Japan would mind at all; they’ve got far bigger fish to fry at the moment, and would probably appreciate the help.
                We do need Val’s expert scientific advice, though. As plan supervisor, I feel a responsibility to keep everyone safe. 😎

  4. Posted by 38special on March 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    EGGY! Beeknees would be perfect. We can bedazzle her knee brace and everything. How bout it Bees? Say yes please.
    A bionic knee’d goddess will undoubtedly come in handy traveling with that crew of medically enhanced testosterone imbeciles.

    ps~I’m going to rise above my usual low standard and refrain from comment per the “old geezer….being putty in my hands” SHWIIIIING!

    • Posted by BEES KNEES on March 25, 2011 at 12:52 pm

      Honey, I AM home and I AM snuggled. I have a perfect brushed-chrome knee to do my bidding now (not that you can see it!!)and all is very well. Thank you for asking. One down and one to go. My other four knees are all fine. 38, if my bionic knee can be of any service to you, by all means . . . bedazzled even better!!!

      And I think Niecey has a brilliant idea — they might as well tap casey’s dead eyes for something positive. Great idea!!! Send that @#&^%*! to Japan.

      Yesterday’s fiasco was even more disturbing than the previous day’s, no? Remember those old carnival (oh-so-politically-not-correct) “Freak Shows?” Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Parents please keep your children safe! Was it a mistake to outlaw them I wonder? At least then they were all rounded up in one place, right? Under the big top. Now look at them!!!! Out there among us roaming free, pretending to practise law and independent thought. Scary. Very, very scary.

  5. Posted by Danna on March 23, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Actually Charlie only gave Jose a kilo of baking soda. But Jose & Cheney wont notice….they are too high on oregano.

  6. Suddenly, Jose’s late-night drunken call to buddy bro-love Geraldo Rivera which was recently released to promote an upcoming Today Show special makes a lot of sense (if you haven’t heard this, it’s OK, it was only released to us in-the-know professional reporters):

    “Heeeeeyyyyyy Gera… Gerald… Raplh… Geraplh… lover boy, this is your buddy, you know, Chubby Wubby! Wassuuuuuuuuuppp!!! Heeeeeyyyy, I gotta tell you sump… (hic)… sumppin. I’m… I’mmmaaa… I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. Yeeeeaaahhh, you heard me… I’m tired of pretending I’m not a rock star from Venus… errr… uhhh… Pluto… hehehehehe… Pluto, hell… I always liked Goofy better… but he won’t return my calls… damn Minnie lover… aaaaanyyyyywho… you’re gonna have to lick my feet… wait, not you… hehehehe, but that one time you did… oh god, that was so good… uhhhh… (slurp)… (hic)… anyways… what was I saying???… oh yeah… Perry’s gonna have to lick my feet if he ever wants me to… to… what did he want me to do???… I… I… uhhh… I… need another drink… I’mma gonna be right back… I gotta… [BEEP]- [Your message has exceeded the maximum recording length. Please press 1 to deliver your message as is. Please press 2 to re-record]

  7. Posted by Jill from Western Australia on March 27, 2011 at 2:41 am

    :mrgreen: Eggy :mrgreen:

    Y’all are welcome to come down under to Australia where we have unlimited sunshine – perfect for Bees to recuperate. πŸ˜†

  8. Posted by janielane on March 27, 2011 at 7:12 am

    Great article. I do believe they have all been smoking crack! If this wasn’t about a dead baby it would be hilarious to watch. Thanks for using my Bobblehead πŸ™‚

  9. Posted by janielane on March 27, 2011 at 7:13 am

    LOL at the call to Geraldo LMFAO πŸ™‚

  10. Posted by J.H. on March 29, 2011 at 9:41 am

    I WANT WHAT DRUG COMBO THEY ARE ON BUT HOLD THE OREGANO.THANKS.OH HECK ILL BUY ALL OUR TICKETS.CHARLEY AND BOZO NEED THE MONEY.THANKS EGGY FOR THE LAUGH.

  11. Egg, great post! πŸ™‚ But do they think they are famous enough to party with the gruggie Charlie Sheen? He they are only infamous and will be partying with the notorious big headed Leonard Padilla and JVM. I guess they will be sucking down the shoe polish!

  12. Posted by Jena on March 31, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    I swear if that little fat, sawed off, chubby cheeked F****ER Buyass says “WINNING” one time.. I will personally go kick Sheen’s AZZ… too funny!!!! He better get barrels of “tiger blood” if he wants to satisfy that biotch!!!

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