All of the half-baked stall tactics, halfa$$ed lawyering, grandiose posturing, and general douchebaggery and stupitude of Casey Anthony’s revolving door defense team over the last 3 years leaves one pondering a very simple question:
What the f**k is wrong with these people?
How can so many “professionals” be willing to flush their reputations down the toilet for one random homocidal slut in Florida? Are the defendant’s shark eyes and heaving bosom really so hypnotizing that seasoned attorneys disintegrate into bumbling fools in her presence? Or is there a deeper, darker secret behind all the madness? EggTreeNews digs deep to answer the question on everyone’s mind:
Are Casey’s attorneys partying with Hollywood madman Charlie Sheen?
It would certainly explain the nonstop parade of bobbleheads making jacka$$es of themselves on her behalf. In fact, in breaking news you will hear ONLY on this station, sources close to the case have spotted Jose Baez and Cheney Mason entering Sheen’s goddess-infested crackmansion and leaving days later on mercury surfboards, wearing vials of Charlie’s warlock tiger blood around their necks for good luck. “Baez and Charlie have become great friends,” says the source. “Last week, Jose gave him one of those heart shaped ‘Best Friend’ necklaces you break in half. In return, Charlie gave him a kilo of primo Columbian cocaine, a homemade golden crackpipe he smelted from soda cans stolen from Chuck Lorre’s recycling bin, and a notebook of self-authored inspirational haikus for the case. Charlie is indeed the genius running the show for the defense.”
Even more disturbing are rumors that Sheen will join the defense team (sans law degree) at the eleventh hour, just before the trial starts, to work his silk shirted-warlock-magic on the jury. And upon Casey’s acquittal, Sheen will allegedly join her on a cross-country RV trek, preaching the WORD at various venues for $250K a stop.
Book me a ticket OUT of America.
Stick a fork in me, I’m done.
😆 😆 😆
Stay tuned to EggTree News for developments in this breaking story.