Casey Takes Pen to Paper

-Planet Casey

When she isn’t shooting frozen death glares at honest witnesses, sociopathic strumpet Casey Anthony is furiously scribbling notes at the defense table, creating a literary tapestry of her court experience. But WHAT is she writing? Egg Tree News channels it for us:

SCREW. ALL. THESE. UGLY. PEOPLE.

Jealous much? That Jennifer Aniston wanna-be, Maria. Well guess what; I’m the Angelina Jolie in this equation. Nice glasses, career girl. You look stupid enough to WORK for money. Struttin in here thinkin you can steal my spotlight. Jose BETTER tell this ugly jury she didn’t want me around her man Clint. Especially after that Hot Body contest. Can you say ENVY?

Yeah, so what, so I danced around a little, big deal?! Oooh, a 22 year old hottie danced with her friends; she must have just killed someone. Stupid cops. I TOLD them, I was LOOKING FOR ZENAIDA AT FUSIAN. And the brainiac shot-girls can’t direct themselves. I was practically working.

I. WANT. MY. OWN. STYLIST.

My own mother! She won’t even look at me! And its HER fault I’m here! I’m the one who’s supposed to ignore HER. THAT’S how its worked for almost 3 years. She knows the rules: she pines away at me, and I ignore her. Oh, I am gonna MAKE that bitch look at me. I’m gonna make EVERYBODY look at me. In a tight shirt. I’ll figure somethin out.

Uggggghhh….GREEEEAAAAT… Amy. This bitch. Who does she think she is, suing me? If she was a real friend, she would let me steal from her. You just wait till Jose tells these dumbass jurors how quick you jumped on my sloppy seconds, you jealous drunkard. Two jobs?!?! I mean, really?! Haven’t you figured out how to steal for a living yet?

What is this a-hole Yuri Melich doing here? Hasn’t he ruined my life enough? Now we have to recount how he LET me lie to him just so he could arrest me for lying? That was SO traumatic for me. Jose will rip him to shreds for that.

Sweeeeeeet! Videos of me! Ooh, I look good in this Universal one. Its so obvious Allen and Melich are flirting with me. I mean, who wouldn’t? Funny how they only badger me when I don’t flirt back. They’re so mean to me. Hello, I have RIGHTS!?!?!

Note to self: You are an AWESOME liar.

Wonderful. Jailhouse visits with the whole famn damily. Let’s relive THIS. I get so sad in these, and I can’t bear to see myself cry. I’m already welling up. How could they let me sit in jail like that? I mean, would it have killed them to sell some pictures of Caylee to the media to pay my bail? It didn’t even occur to them? Really?!?! Its like I don’t even matter to them.

And WHY didn’t Jose have these tapes destroyed like I told him to? What do I pay this assbag for?!

God, I’ve totally lost my tan.

Why does Jose keep telling me to cry? Now he’s got Stringbean Sims riding my ass about it too. Its so annoying.

Uggggghhhh. I HATE science. Shut up junk scientist. Ooh, but he’s talking about hair, I like hair! They should talk about my hairstyles over the years. Show more pictures of me. The car trunk is boring.

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30 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Autumn on June 4, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    I just found this site from a link at the Hinky Meter and omg you are to friggin funny.. I think i have read every blog you have written on this case so far and i haven’t laughed so hard in long long time, HILARIOUS i love it..

    • Posted by eggtreenews on June 5, 2011 at 5:32 pm

      Hi Autumn! πŸ™‚

      • Posted by Autumn on June 11, 2011 at 7:16 pm

        Hi,
        I love reading here its great… funniest stuff i have ever read, and i cannot wait for you to post something new. i checked at least 3 times a day to see if there is anything lol… looking forward to reading your next entry.

  2. Posted by P on June 4, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    I love it! Haha! You have her down to a T as in Tramp ! Spitey is as Spitey does- I wish so bad we could put Cujo in w her for the mother of Holey stories total Jihad! Wads o gum, fuzzy hammers, duct tape lashings..and thosdd are just some of the prizes! Thank you for letting vent and laff! Cudos

    • Posted by eggtreenews on June 5, 2011 at 5:21 pm

      P, if Casey gets acquitted, her first moneymaking venture will be a Pay-per-View fight between her and Cindy. πŸ™‚

  3. EGG!! My friend!! Another monster post!!LOL!!
    I think that pouty mouth thing is from her having to wear all those crappy clothes. I know I have to buy somebody at ABC a beer for spending at least $50.00 on that bitches wardrobe. They really stuck it to her.
    And there’s no cute guy witnesses to flirt and wink at for the poor little murderer! What is a girl to do?! She wrote that down at the jury pickings to include eye candy for her to stare at but bozo lost that in his stacks of BS, along with his brain.

    • Posted by eggtreenews on June 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm

      Cakeroll, I think its more like $35.99. Somebody made a quick run to TJ Maxx and cleared out the triple-slashed sales rack.

      Poor thing, no hotties on the jury, no hotties on the witness stand, no nuthin for Miss Casey. Maybe that’s what’s up with her tears! πŸ™‚

      • Posted by Danna on June 8, 2011 at 8:08 am

        with all those ruffles and puffy sleeves, I thought they hit Warren Jeffs wives garage sale……

  4. Posted by Jill from Western Australia on June 5, 2011 at 5:27 am

    Tee hee Eggy – between the Baez smirk and the KC pout you describe them both perfectly. :mrgreen:

    • Posted by eggtreenews on June 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm

      Jill, I’d like to buff that smirk right off Baez’s face. He is beyond insufferable.

      I think Kas described Casey best the other day, when she called her Wednesday Adams. I still LMAO thinkin about that. Especially cuz that makes Baez Pugsly. πŸ˜†

  5. OH! Now I get it!

    So THAT’S why Baez made her poor demolished mother come down from the stand! So our little princess could STAND and primp!!

    Bravo Eggy!!

    • Posted by eggtreenews on June 5, 2011 at 5:38 pm

      Kim, between her and Baez, they sure figured out a way to force Cindy to look at her after she snubbed Casey that first day of her testimony! πŸ˜† Nobody puts Casey in the corner. Its probably the ONLY planning Baez has done yet for this case. :mrgreen:

  6. Posted by Sam on June 5, 2011 at 6:35 am

    You’re really good at capturing the poof from her stink. I enjoy your stuff and selfishly hope you’ll recap all of the trial days. Thanks Eggy.

  7. Posted by Sissy on June 5, 2011 at 6:55 am

    LMAO!

  8. Posted by BEES KNEES on June 5, 2011 at 9:39 am

    “I can’t bear to see myself cry.” Hee hee hee hee hee . . .

    • Posted by eggtreenews on June 5, 2011 at 5:44 pm

      Its ALL about Casey, Bees. πŸ˜† I noticed she only ‘cried’ (in court) when she was watching herself ‘cry’ (on the tape), and especially when she was watching her conversation with George, realizing that her defense theory was totally sunk. Yup. All about her….

  9. Posted by LM on June 5, 2011 at 11:17 am

    LOL
    “OMG! This trial? Complete waste of time!”

  10. Posted by Adriana on June 5, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Eggy excellent as usual. I loved it!!!. You should write one about Baez’s stupid attempts to cross examine the witness (Hey you Melich, dont look at the jurors, look at me!! hello! I am here!! -pathetic!!-)… it is hilarious (and sometimes painful) to see him in action, but I bet with your writing you would depict him more accurately!!!

    • Posted by eggtreenews on June 5, 2011 at 5:52 pm

      Whenever I watch Baez, I have to collapse in the giggles to avoid succumbing to the rage. The man is utterly incompetent. A true court jester. πŸ˜†

  11. Posted by offthecuff on June 5, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Sometimes after all the forensics and videos, we need a good laugh. Thanks.

    But may I ask how your news channel was able to gain access to her notes?

    Did you merely lightly pencil over the remaining tablet to see the imprint left behind? Or was there some kind of other chemical analysis?

  12. Posted by June Bug on June 5, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Your post was hilarious but at the same time, in a disturbing way, probably very close to a true and accurate depiction of her thought process during the trial.

  13. Posted by doublesmom on June 6, 2011 at 8:48 am

    Thanks Eggy – I look forward to your next installment! πŸ™‚

  14. Posted by Jennifer on June 7, 2011 at 12:16 am

    Good one, I can picture Casey writing OMG, it’s like so unfair that I got caught & have to answer to all these peons. Why can’t they just pretend to believe my non-ending pathological misconstrued half-truths like Mom & Dad? I can’t believe that bastard Yuri took me all the way down the hall at Universal. Everyone’s supposed to either ignore my lies or pretend it’s the truth & go along with it. WTF is going on, I’m too cute & buxom to rot in prison. That’s why Bozo had me sticking my boobs out. Men can’t resist me, except for thosemoronic detectives & the judge. What the hell is wrong with them? Gay much….

  15. Posted by Jill from Western Australia on June 7, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Hi Eggy – just testing that this will post because this box is black on Niecey’s site.

  16. Posted by Jill from Western Australia on June 8, 2011 at 5:12 am

    Thankyou for trying to help Niecey. It appears that I am the only one having problems posting due to the “Leave a Reply” box being black. I logged into WordPress using ozzyjill [on your last post] but that didn’t help.

    For the time being I am typing this in Eggy’s white box – will copy and paste to your black one. [I won’t post it in Eggy’s as that would be unfair and clog up her site.]

    HUGS FOR β™₯CAYLEEβ™₯

  17. Posted by Jill from Western Australia on June 8, 2011 at 5:13 am

    Sowwy Eggy – I didn’t mean to post the above but couldn’t clear the reply box unless I did.

    Hugs β™₯β™₯β™₯

  18. She needs to give up the theatrics and stick to lying, she’s better at it.

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