Hurricane Casey Highlights

hurricane Casey Highlights

-Planet Anthony

The latest highlights from the Force 10 Hurricane that is the Casey Anthony Murder Trial:

1. Cindy’s dog was a-sleepin a lot, which was highly suspicious for some reason. So naturally she assumed he was eating bamboo. Vet, shmet; who needs to call a doctor and get a simple answer when Google has all the reliable info she needs. So she ditched work (a medical facility apparently without computers, or access to info on chloroform or chlorophyll), falsified her time sheets in the process, and drove all the way home to google “chloroform” under Casey’s login on the home computer. Even though she meant to type chlorophyll. But she never actually typed chlorophyll. Or bamboo. Or even something wild like “does bamboo make Yorkies sleepy?” Just chloroform. And the computer must have visited the “How to Make Chloroform” site 84 whole times all on it’s own. She said it under oath, so it must be true.

2. Ladder was up. Ladder was down. Ladder was in a tree. Ladder was on the roof. Ladder was in the trunk. Sunrise. Sunset. Here a ladder, there a ladder, everywhere a pool ladder, everyday of the week. So are the days of the Anthony’s lives.

3.According to Cindy, whose memory is the only one that gets better with time, the stain in the trunk with an outline of a small child in the fetal position was there when they bought the car years ago. You know, the stain that reeks of decomp to this day. However, it is unclear why the smell only started shortly after Caylee’s disappearance. 

4. Woe is Lee. He just wants to be one of the girls. His longstanding chuckles turned to sniffles as he boo-hood to no end, about not getting an invitation to the Homicidal Harlot’s GIRLS ONLY baby shower, and not getting formally clued into the giant fetus shaped No Vacancy sign on Casey’s womb.  No big brothers in the delivery room? What kind of dictatorship is this?!

5. The majority of the Anthonys have chimpanzee mouths. 

6. According to Cindy, a mighty hand sanitizer panic swept the nation in March 2008, prompting her to once again commit payroll fraud, and rush home from work to investigate via Google.  Under Casey’s login. This time, she cut right to the heart of the matter and typed in “alcohol.” Then “acetone.” Why waste precious time with a broad question like “is hand sanitizer safe for kids?”

7.  A badass hawk is watching this circus through the window. Imagine the stories he has for the other hawks. 

8. Nancy Grace is apparently cool with perjury. A mothers grief is now a license to break the law and help free a killer. 

9. The defense may or may not have doctored a photo of Caylee opening the sliding glass door leading to the pool. 

10.  Hdryjwjxhdbj$7hfnsk$jNsncmxjamcnvjfmzbzkm’$b nzn&:’jck” cjdim&ijai

That’s what happened yesterday that caused proceedings to stop. 


22 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by nancy on June 26, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    Oh my Eggy!!!! Thank you for this post! Sooooooo funny! I laughed so hard!
    ” Woe is Lee. He just wants to be one of the girls. ” LOL!!!!!! That is hilarious!!!!


  2. Posted by adrianadalba on June 26, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    Eggy I love your posts, they always make me laugh… but reading this I felt very sad. I felt sad for the baby Caylee who most likely will never get justice because of the bunch of liars she lived with… it is sad, it is like a punch on my stomach, it is heart wrenching, it is upsetting and it makes me want to vomit now every time I see Cindy’s and Lee’s tears. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

  3. Posted by Rose on June 27, 2011 at 2:40 am

    You should write a book or something. Brilliant!

  4. Posted by Jill from Western Australia on June 27, 2011 at 5:23 am

    Tee Hee Eggy – thankyou. :mrgreen:

  5. Posted by Danna.. on June 27, 2011 at 5:44 am

    Egg, that about covers it…..what a family of freaks.

    When I think about what my brothers wouldve said/done if I had wanted to ‘reach out’ and ‘share’ with them regarding my pregnancies…….well suffice it to say that they dont shed tears over the fact they were left out…not by a long shot. rofl

  6. Posted by september on June 27, 2011 at 7:00 am

    Eggy you rock girl. Thanks for taking off some of the pressure. I so want justice for Caylee and it gets intense…….especially when I see this entirer family turn on Caylee.

  7. Posted by Kay on June 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

    “Ladder here, ladder there, pool ladder everywhere….ladder on the roof, ladder in the tree” ! again, I LOL’d so hard, I couldn’t catch my breath ! Thanks Eggy ! U R da Best !

  8. I just got this site from WS today and I have never laughed so hard in my life-OMG What a riot!!!

  9. Posted by doublesmom on June 27, 2011 at 10:25 am

    Eggy, as always you made me lol. 🙂 They need you in the court room to sum things up! Thanks – looking forward to your next update. 🙂

  10. Posted by Marsha on June 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    omg you have outdone yourself this time!
    This is a gift that will keep on giving!

  11. Posted by doly on June 27, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    Oh, that’s hilarious! I love your humor. The thought of Cindy “once again committing payroll fraud” to rush home in a panic to google the great hand sanitizer scare of 2008….funny stuff! I wish you would do one on Baez and his obsession with trash/garbage. I wonder why he hasn’t brought in his 3 week old trash and insisted the jury smell it. They could compare the 3 week old” trash” to the “garbage” he spews daily and decide which smells more rotten.

    • Posted by Autumn on June 27, 2011 at 7:23 pm

      lmao….i love this site soooo much, especially after such a long day of court.. and someone needs to tell Cindy that the hand sanitizer scare was in 2006 not 2008 lol….

  12. Posted by NancyB on June 27, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    I just adore you!!! Laughing myself silly – you never fail us. So grateful for your style and wit and insight. You da bomb!

  13. Posted by Abby on June 29, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Egg – you are brilliant!

  14. Thank you for your humor Eggy….I was feeling kinda hostile today….I wanted duct two players together and beat them in the heads with Baez’ easel….But after reading this, I had a good laugh….a hearty laugh….and now I think I can take a nap….thank you very much!

  15. Posted by Shirley on June 29, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    Dear Eggy
    I’m in love with eggs sunny side up it is, thanks for the laughs.

  16. Posted by 38special on June 30, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    I’m late to the party as usual but you rock!
    Love this bang up article. The Ants and El Bozo are gifts that just keep giving and giving and giving.
    It’s almost over and I’m so sick of their cesspool of a life I could scream.
    Maybe the Axis of Evil will finally topple but I swear if any of them try to embark on a revisionist revival we might all wish that the scunt was free to chloroform and shovel whack the whole damn family.
    I heart ya Eggy, you’re the only one that can make this shit funny every time.

  17. Posted by Kay on June 30, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    Perhaps an article on bird flipping by servers of franchised restaurants, & other assorted oddities …. erm, Krystal River…erm, River Halloway….erm, River Krystal Cruz Halloway ? the alleged ‘other woman’ at any rate even if it’s in her own mind LOL

  18. Egg, gotta love you! Your great!

  19. Posted by hvf on July 2, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    So I guess it is okay to lie for a good reason? Then why have a trial if no one is prosecuted for lying?

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