hurricane Casey Highlights
The latest highlights from the Force 10 Hurricane that is the Casey Anthony Murder Trial:
1. Cindy’s dog was a-sleepin a lot, which was highly suspicious for some reason. So naturally she assumed he was eating bamboo. Vet, shmet; who needs to call a doctor and get a simple answer when Google has all the reliable info she needs. So she ditched work (a medical facility apparently without computers, or access to info on chloroform or chlorophyll), falsified her time sheets in the process, and drove all the way home to google “chloroform” under Casey’s login on the home computer. Even though she meant to type chlorophyll. But she never actually typed chlorophyll. Or bamboo. Or even something wild like “does bamboo make Yorkies sleepy?” Just chloroform. And the computer must have visited the “How to Make Chloroform” site 84 whole times all on it’s own. She said it under oath, so it must be true.
2. Ladder was up. Ladder was down. Ladder was in a tree. Ladder was on the roof. Ladder was in the trunk. Sunrise. Sunset. Here a ladder, there a ladder, everywhere a pool ladder, everyday of the week. So are the days of the Anthony’s lives.
3.According to Cindy, whose memory is the only one that gets better with time, the stain in the trunk with an outline of a small child in the fetal position was there when they bought the car years ago. You know, the stain that reeks of decomp to this day. However, it is unclear why the smell only started shortly after Caylee’s disappearance.
4. Woe is Lee. He just wants to be one of the girls. His longstanding chuckles turned to sniffles as he boo-hood to no end, about not getting an invitation to the Homicidal Harlot’s GIRLS ONLY baby shower, and not getting formally clued into the giant fetus shaped No Vacancy sign on Casey’s womb. No big brothers in the delivery room? What kind of dictatorship is this?!
5. The majority of the Anthonys have chimpanzee mouths.
6. According to Cindy, a mighty hand sanitizer panic swept the nation in March 2008, prompting her to once again commit payroll fraud, and rush home from work to investigate via Google. Under Casey’s login. This time, she cut right to the heart of the matter and typed in “alcohol.” Then “acetone.” Why waste precious time with a broad question like “is hand sanitizer safe for kids?”
7. A badass hawk is watching this circus through the window. Imagine the stories he has for the other hawks.
8. Nancy Grace is apparently cool with perjury. A mothers grief is now a license to break the law and help free a killer.
9. The defense may or may not have doctored a photo of Caylee opening the sliding glass door leading to the pool.
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That’s what happened yesterday that caused proceedings to stop.