-Hazzard County, Arizona
I thought it would never end, but after 18 excruciating days of testimony, they finally turned off the spotlight and pried black-eyed wingnut Jodi Arias off the witness stand with a crowbar. In that time, we learned every raunchy detail we never wanted to know about her unambitious life. Every sex act, every unattentive boyfriend, every strawberry frappuccino, every outfit she ever wore on a date, and every drop of gasoline bought in June 2008. Jodi could tell you how many bubbles were in her boyfriend’s beer six years ago this Saturday, but when it comes to the gruesome murder of Travis Alexander- the whole reason she’s in an Arizona courtroom- her otherwise perfect memory draws a blank. “It’s all a fog,” says the admitted pathological liar about the 29 stab wounds and slashed throat that ended Travis’ life. “I have no memory of that.” 18 days of testimony, and 220 pointed questions from the jury about the incident at hand failed to jog her memory. At all.
Okey dokey then.
While most of us with half a brain who can get one eye open know better than to buy ANYTHING that Arias is selling, the defense has brought in a Boss Hogg impersonator / medical expert to blame it all on stress. As in post traumatic stress. And Jodi’s seriously stressed out, you guys. All that murder wiped her memory bank clean, so of course she doesnt remember re-enacting Hitchcock’s famous shower scene. And that sounds reasonable. I mean, it’s not like she knew any of it was coming. It’s not like she stole her grandfather’s gun and drove a couple states away with the intention of commiting a homicide. And she didn’t bring those gas cans to avoid filling up the tank in Arizona and leaving a paper trail of her whereabouts the day of the murder, or to help burn evidence in the desert. She was actually just in acute shock and denial of her horrific actions- which were not premeditated at all, as shown by the evidence- and was in such a fog she doesnt even remember throwing the knife out the car window into the desert- oh, wait a minute…
Get gone already, Arias, and take Boss Hogg with you. Youre an offense to actual victims everywhere. And i know this is petty, but your nose looks detachable. I keep wanting to pop it off your face like a Mr Potatohead doll.