Boss Hogg Impersonator Says Jodi’s Stressed Out, You Guys

-Hazzard County, Arizona

I thought it would never end, but after 18 excruciating days of testimony, they finally turned off the spotlight and pried black-eyed wingnut Jodi Arias off the witness stand with a crowbar.  In that time, we learned every raunchy detail we never wanted to know about her unambitious life. Every sex act, every unattentive boyfriend, every strawberry frappuccino, every outfit she ever wore on a date, and every drop of gasoline bought in June 2008. Jodi could tell you how many bubbles were in her boyfriend’s beer six years ago this Saturday, but when it comes to the gruesome murder of Travis Alexander- the whole reason she’s in an Arizona courtroom- her otherwise perfect memory draws a blank.  “It’s all a fog,” says the admitted pathological liar about the 29 stab wounds and slashed throat that ended Travis’ life. “I have no memory of that.”  18 days of testimony, and 220 pointed questions from the jury about the incident at hand failed to jog her memory. At all. 

Okey dokey then. 

While most of us with half a brain who can get one eye open know better than to buy ANYTHING that Arias is selling, the defense has brought in a Boss Hogg impersonator / medical expert to blame it all on stress. As in post traumatic stress.  And Jodi’s seriously stressed out, you guys.  All that murder wiped her memory bank clean, so of course she doesnt remember re-enacting Hitchcock’s famous shower scene. And that sounds reasonable. I mean, it’s not like she knew any of it was coming. It’s not like she stole her grandfather’s gun and drove a couple states away with the intention of commiting a homicide. And she didn’t bring those gas cans to avoid filling up the tank in Arizona and leaving a paper trail of her whereabouts the day of the murder, or to help burn evidence in the desert.  She was actually just in acute shock and denial of her horrific actions- which were not premeditated at all, as shown by the evidence- and was in such a fog she doesnt even remember throwing the knife out the car window into the desert- oh, wait a minute…

Get gone already, Arias, and take Boss Hogg with you. Youre an offense to actual victims everywhere. And i know this is petty, but your nose looks detachable. I keep wanting to pop it off your face like a Mr Potatohead doll. 


25 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by adrianadalba on March 14, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    I started reading your blog back when babykilling tot mom was on trial and I always laughed and enjoyed your comments. I am really happy you are now talking about fog-murderer Jodi Arias. I read your previous post, and as you, I swore I would never follow any other trial after the tot mom fiasco, but here we are again… I only hope the outcome is not the same..
    Thank you for your blogs, they are amazing! :))

    • Hi adriana! Thanks for reading. I dont know what keeps pulling me back to these cases, its kinda masochistic on my part i guess. I hope along with you the outcome here is different. Judging by the jurys questions, i tend to think theyre not from Pinellas. 🙂

  2. EGG!! Great to see you again! I was wondering when this crazy psycho murderer was going to bring you to post. Just our kind of gal to ponder about with her new mental illness pick of the week diagnosis from the jolly round one. What a couple of flaming fruit cakes! Where did they get that guy from, Craig’s list? Where’d they get her fat boring attorney, traffic court? How ’bout some coffee buddy and zip it up?
    And speaking of not getting hooked on any more murder cases since the swamp skank, well that’s out the window. Geez, let’s get this case over with and hang the crazy bitch so I can get my taxes done.

    • Hooray!!!! Ive missed you Carol! High fives and cracktinis all around, these psychos are bringin the band back together!!! 🙂

      I feel like Im taking crazy pills watching this mess. Nurmi asked to be released from this case early on, but he was told he HAD to stick it out and defend this pile of dried up dog vomit. Dr Samuels had me remembering the good ole days, when that tipsy Sally Jesse Raphael lookalike *jazzhands* explained away Caseys 31 day party streak as “post traumatic stress.” you see, theres an excuse for everything….

      • AH,HAHAHA!!!! Yes, bring on the crazy train once again!
        What rocks do these physco’s live under? I’m staying inside from now on.
        It looks like the swamp skank and JoDie both have the same cud chewing mothers that are enjoying court every day and their wide angled spot shots. There’s something to be really proud of – not! Oh, they wouldn’t hurt a flea, but butcher their children and boyfriends. Unreal!
        They should have had a fog machine running when Mr Rotund was speaking all day today. It would have given a nice effect and glow to the court room.
        Is it just me or doesn’t JoDie every blink? A good hard slap in the face would bring her around, or a lynch mob with a noose.
        Glad to see you back Egg! 🙂

        • Im really digging the fog machine idea. Thats an Andrea Lyons move, right there; courtroom theater at its finest. Im surprised she didnt jump on the defense bandwagon with her legal vixen twin Linda Kenny Baden. This case seems right up their alley.

          Did you notice Jodi’s expression when Boss Hogg did his supercool powerpoint presentation diagramming the human brain? She was staring at it with a look of standoffish curiosity, as if to say, “Tell me about this… ‘The Brain.'”

          and Im sorry for being so petty, but her nose really bothers me. It looks like a prosthetic that pops right off, and it’s really distracting. I dont know if its the cold medicine or the fever talking (im nursing a bug), but its all i can focus on when i look at her. Or maybe im instictively avoiding her creepy beady eyes. Shes a bunny boiler, that one.

  3. It’s like deja vu – next we can expect a grief expert to take the stand to say that her reactions were perfectly normal. Her nose doesn’t bother me as much as how her 👿 eyes light up and her lips curl in a supercillious smirk when she thinks she has given a good answer – methinks she is getting too big for her boots.

    I also love the fog machine idea Carol but the thought of Andrea Lyon and LKB looming around like ghosts is nightmare material. :mrgreen:

    Hope your ‘bug’ goes away quickly Eggy. 😥

    • Hi Jill, good to see you again. Everyone’s coming out of the woodwork for this crazy case.
      With St. Patrick’s day coming up soon, check out my St. Pat’s guide on the eggtreehouse link on top. It’s half way down. I had my dog Ned Kelly read it over. Do drink green beer but don’t eat yellow snow. 🙂

    • Jill, they could be like The blind witches stirring the bubbling cauldron in the foggy moors from Shakespeare’s Hamlet (or Macbeth, i cant remember), creeping thru the foggy courtroom and popping up shrieking whenever Jodi has a convenient memory lapse.

  4. Egg, I hope you are feeling better. I’m glad to hear that you don’t have PTSD or whatever the frick it’s called. That seems to be going around.
    Yes, let’s do talk about JoDie’s nose. I think of it as more of a Mr. Potato head nose that got stepped on somewhere along the way. I’m surprised it’s not alot longer and skinnier. Bitch.
    So, they threw out one death sentence woman in the Arizona jail. Good, now they’ll have plenty of room for the butcher. Hey, she wanted to commit suicide, let’s ablige her and be done with her.
    End this maddness.

    • Yeah, she also told Flores that if she had killed Travis she would beg for the death penalty. Well, she confessed, so lets oblige her. If i were Martinez, i would bring that up during penalty phase

  5. Check this out! JoDie Unplugged:
    Is is OK if we put links on here Egg?
    Since the defense is out for the day, there is no action in the court room. I guess Heavy D Nurmi had to go out and eat another trailer full of cattle or think up some way to cover up Mr./Dr. Samuels actual creditionals. Liars, all of them. 😉

    • Yessum, its totaly fine to post links here. I was actualy gonna post that very video as soon as i arose from my Nyquil stupor, so thanks for saving me the trouble of hunting it down again.

      This is all part of the stress, you guys. So lets leave her alone cuz were really bullying her now.

      Do you realize that the same day this video was taken in AZ, the beast who shall not be named was dragging Florida investigators to her nonexistent office at Universal studios, and her her nonexistent nannys empty apt?

      Damn you, Illuminati…

      • Posted by adrianadalba on March 15, 2013 at 11:53 pm

        That coincidence is actually pretty scary eggy!! I was just telling my husband the same thing… and the similarities between these two monsters is uncanny

        • Im tellin ya, theyre genetically engineered fraternal twins separated at birth. Both programmed to snap in June 2008. MMMWWAAAAHAHAHAHA!!

  6. Oh, and “Heavy D” Nurmi?!?! Priceless!

  7. Egg, nyquil is better warmed up with whiskey. Add green food coloring for Sunday and you’re all set to party! You’ll see leprechauns for sure.
    Food for thought; if JoDie was holding the camera, the knife and the gun how many arms and hands does she have? Does she have another extendable arm that comes out of her magic multi use butt? She had a lot of action coming and going back there. We should have Samuels climb up in there and check to see if the knife and gun are still there. JMHO.
    And, the days when her stringy hair is in that rat’s tail thing on top of her empty head, she will not cry. When it’s not and down, she will cry that day. It’s a given. I hate her. She must go away forever.
    That’s spooky about the similarities with the two murderers, but that’s another whole post for you Egg. Get well. 😉

  8. P.S. I won’t bully this murderer any more,,, today.

  9. Hey Carol – loved your Beer Troubleshooting tales :mrgreen:

    Standing on her head and grovelling in the wastepaper basket was a performance for the camera IMO. Suspects are always informed that they are being taped – everyone knows that.

    Eggy I just know I’m going to have a nightmare featuring ghoulish apparitions of Andrea Lyon, LKB, Dorothy Simms flitting furtively around Mason & Baez gesturing finger pistols and rude images while chanting bubble bubble toil and trouble 😛

  10. Interesting reading about the empty headed ‘bunny boiler’ and it’s so called mother: ugh

    • Hmmm…identical twins always kinda freak me out (Im just weird that way), but these two giggling dumplings take it to a whole new level. I wonder if mom is gonna write a tell all.

    • Egg, I have no sound at all! 😦 Rats!! It’s not the green beer either.
      Oh, happy St. Patrick’s day, hic,, urp.. I’ll try again.

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