-The Foggy Moors of Arizona
Dr. Richard Samuels, the Boss Hogg impersonator and questionable “expert” hired by Jodi Arias’ mentally challenged defense team, endured quite a beat down by bulldog prosecutor Juan Martinez today. By the end of cross examination, he was wandering aimlessly through the foggy details of his own testimony, knee deep in contradictions and glaring at Martinez with a hatred that only Jodi could fully appreciate.
As it turns out, the stout amnesia expert who diagnosed Arias with post traumatic stress disorder may have been a just little hasty. Because he based that diagnonsense on Jodi’s second fabricated tale to the police, in which two masked intruders shot and stabbed Travis Alexander, but inexplicably allowed fair maiden Arias to escape unscathed. Upon hearing her third fairy tale- the migraine inducing self defense excuse that would eventually exhaust everyone at the trial- Boss Hogg neglected to re-evaluate his original findings.
All that expertise for a mere $250/hour!
But it doesn’t really matter, because as Martinez pointed out, the doc’s supersweet “test” was only as honest and accurate as the individual providing the responses anyway.
It was here that Boss Hogg switched on the fog machine and began shooting death glares at the D.A. from the witness stand.
He also discussed accepting dental work as payment in a custody case, and almost losing his license over it. Because he had jacked up teefs, and it’s not like lawyers can afford proper dental care, especially if they’re only paid $250 an hour.
Then he revealed that he concluded Jodi was a passive lass with low self-esteem who could never hurt a fly, based in part on her diary entries. You know, the same journal she lied to after slaughtering somebody. Then he admitted that he provided the Ugly Betty impostor with a self help book all about PTSD, which she likely scoured to lay the groundwork for her global amnesiac defense.
The word hippocampus came up a lot. Once he called it the hypothalmus.
Then he turned into a crazed snippy Sally, gesturing violently at Martinez as he questioned the validity of his research. “You’re misinterpreting my findings,” he yelled as he completely disappeared into the dense foggy mist, along with any shred of his credibility. “It’s post traumatic stress, God damn you! Hippocampus!Hiiiiiiipooocaaaampuuuussss!”
With her expert swallowed up by the mist, and her attorneys hanging their heads in shame, Ugly Betty sat coloring at the defense table in complete oblivion.