– The Enchanted Forests of Arizona
The relentlessly absurd trial of Jodi Arias took a surreal hairpin turn into The Magic Kingdom this week, when professional victim Alyce LaViolette and Mad Dog Martinez dragged poor Snow White, of all people, into this sordid mess. LaViolette, a former domestic violence victims advocate, who now apparently makes a living giving seminars about battered Disney characters, has spent the last eight days testi-lying that stalking butcher Jodi Arias is the real victim in all this. She and barky Martinez began their long awaited cross exam late Thursday afternoon, when the fuming little teapot questioned her about one of her many speaking tours, entitled “Was Snow White a Battered Woman?” The resulting empassioned battle of the wits over fairy tale minutiae left spectators everywhere scratching their heads, wondering what the hell Snow White ever did to deserve being compared to Jodi Arias?
“It was really weird,” said one bewildered witness. “They suddenly started bickering about Snow White and the Seven Dwarves out of nowhere. Like they were at a film club for 8 year olds or something. It was akward…I remember wondering if I was high, but I definitely wasn’t. LaViolette believes a children’s cartoon character shows signs of battered woman’s syndrome. That lady must be awesome at parties.”
And compounding the perplexity, she disagreed with Martinez’s contention that Snow White was forced to live in a dirty shack and clean up after seven ill-tempered male dwarves of unkown age. Nay, this abuse victim dwelled in a “charming cottage….singing and dancing with birds and animals.”
You know, just like Jodi Arias.
“Snow White is extremely upset about being dragged into this,” revealed a source close to Disney. “She has never been beaten, and resents the implication. And she would certainly never murder anyone. She doesn’t understand why she’s been defamed in this trial, and feels terribly victimized by LaViolette. She just wants to be left alone, to heal from this unbearable emotional and verbal abuse.”
That’s what happened when my head landed on the keyboard.
Stay tuned to Egg Tree News for breaking developments in this story.