Travel and Vacation Tips

-Eggtown, USA

Summer is almost upon us, and as we know, ’tis the season for vacations and travelling aplenty. No matter where you’re going, or how you’re getting there, EggTreeNews has all the tips you’ll need for a stress-free journey to paradise. Happy trails!

1. Be sure to check the weather forecast for your destination before you begin packing. That way, you will be dressed appropriately for a week of sitting in front of the TV and emptying the minibar in your hotel room. There’s nothing worse than forgetting flipflops for runs to the ice machine. 

2. Listening to music is a great way to pass the hours on a long flight as you hurdle through multiple time zones at breakneck speeds.  To enhance the time-travelling experience for the person seated next to you, pull out your bright yellow cassette walkman from 1989, and sing along to the summerjam mixtape your BFF made for you back in the day. Everyone loves a Neneh Cherry, Jodi Watley, and PM Dawn mix. 

3. Reading is another good way to kill time on a jetplane.  Most airports have an extensive selection of magazines available for weary travelers. If you can find one that does not have a Kardashian anywhere on the cover, you have not only won the lottery, you have also found a seed of hope the apocalypse is not yet upon us. Treat yourself to a sandwich. 

4. If you are travelling by car on a family road trip with small children in the backseat, you should kill yourself. 

5. Always have your vehicle thoroughly examined by a quality mechanic before hitting the road. That way, you can sink the majority of your vacation money into pimping up the family rickshaw. Who needs food or shelter when you’re rolling four deep cross-country in a blinged out Kia Sorento?

6. Never pass up the opportunity to pull over and admire the beautiful wildlife and majestic landscapes of your country, while your kid throws up from carsickness in the woods off the road.  Cherish those moments. Just be sure everyone’s 
back in the car before you drive off again, or you’ll NEVER hear the end of it. 

7.  Like being trapped in a petridish of germs floating in the middle of a vast ocean? Try a cruise! 

8.  Trains are a fun, old-fashioned alternative to traveling by car or plane. To really complete the locomotive experience, dress your children as hobos and let them sleep on bales of hay in the freight car. Then use the money you’ve saved on their tickets to hit up the bar. Everyone deserves a little “me” time.  

9. If planes, trains, automobiles and cruises leave you nauseous with motion sickness, travelling via horseback is always an option. Just pretend you’re a pioneer exploring the paved freeways and fast food drive-thrus of the Wild West. If you are lucky enough to be riding a racehorse, challenge motorists to a dragrace along the interstate. Regardless of the outcome, place the crown you got from Burger King atop your horse’s head for the remainder of your journey. 

10. Don’t forget to report every second of your trip on social media sites. Your college roommate and former workbuddies you rarely speak to anymore are dying to see pictures of your hotel room in Cincinatti. They want to hear every detail about how you’re getting away from it all. 

Advertisements

333 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by momvar on June 7, 2013 at 9:25 am

    And never miss an opportunity to photograph your food, both before and after, to share with all those former schoolmates and workmates. They will be rapt and ecstatic.

    • Posted by Ria on June 7, 2013 at 10:06 am

      LOL Momvar, I had Facebook for a few months but it wasn’t my thing so I deleted it. People on there are so concerned with proving to everyone how much fun their life is!!!

      • I deleted my Facebook for the exact same reason. I felt I was the only person in the Facebook world who had everyday problems and concerns! My cousin lives in a picture perfect world. The lady brags about her perfect children, perfect home and ultra perfect husband. There is even a photo of them leaving a restaurant holding hands dressed in color coordinated clothes! I thought what the hell is wrong with this picture? You are so correct, people do want to give the perception everyone and everything is so right in their lives. I began to think what is wrong with me? Thank you for your comment. Facebook did nothing for me at all but place me in a deeper depression my life is not perfect and never will be.

        • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 8, 2013 at 6:13 am

          Dee your cousin’s facebook image reminds me of several infamous canned Christmas letters we get. Seems like they all have perfect grown children and they all take exotic vacations. My wish is to write the realistic holiday letter – one that records such things as job loss, tooth loss, or colonoscopies.

          • So funny! Thanks just reading your comment perks me up! As I commented earlier I love this blog and I am so glad I discovered it.

          • A sacred holiday tradition in my family is uncorking a bottle of wine and reading all those ridiculous X-mas brag letters all at once, and laughing hysterically at them. The desperate exaggerations in those things just kill us.

            “Little Kevin is the shining star of his kindergarten class. He spells the alphabet perfectly!”

            “I won a pie baking contest at the county fair last summer!” (accompanied by pic of the blue ribbon)

            “little Leslie won a hat decorating contest at the mall last Easter!”

            My mom and I are always tempted to write a totally realistic one:

            “So-and-so made it a whole year w/out getting arrested or thrown in a mental hospital!”

            “So-and-so is making zero progress in narcotics anonymous!”

            “So-and-so was given 2 months to live, and they suffered a slow agonizing death while we all watched!”

            “So-and-so was told they can’t have children!”

            “Merry Christmas, everyone!!”

            Love,
            The Egg Family
            😆

            “So-and-so was told they can’t have children

            • Thank You QueenEggo for that! I have a couple of friends who send me those with pictures of all the wonderful places they have visited (like the Taj Mahal and Australia) Meanwhile I am in the midst of preparation for a colonoscopy and my sister-in-laws Dad just got diagnosed with Alzheimers and got placed in a lodge as he can no longer go home – Now mind you I never do a xmas letter as my life is comparatively uneventful compared to the extravagant missives I receive –
              But thx for the tip = perhaps when the season comes around I’ll just say “Bully for you” and have another glass of wine!

            • I KNEW there was something that bothered me about those letters…you nailed it. ((((APPLAUSE)))) Also, I deleted my “real” FB account because it was full of this kind of nonsense. I love my 7 friends who tell it like it is on my “alternate and the real me” FB.:D

            • Posted by Ria on June 13, 2013 at 7:37 am

              My friends mom really did this. She had cancer removed from her top lip so they reconstructed it with skin from her naughty bits. In the Xmas letter, along with whining about realizing her grown daughters were never going to get married or give her grandchildren, she said she was now walking around with part of her vagina on her top lip. It was really funny.

        • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:41 am

          Exactly DeeJay, it’s depressing and also, I don’t really need to know what someone I haven’t seen in 25 years is doing every minute of the day! Also, I come from a very fractured family so that part of it was not good for me.

          • Thank you Ria! My family is very fractured as well. I think this is one reason my cousin brags so much. It is very important to her that everyone realizes how much she has. I guess I’m jealous and I pray I will get over it. I truly love this blog and it makes me happy to hear from an honest person.

            • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 4:32 pm

              my motto is “Real people live life…they don’t FB them!!!”

              I had it when it was just a college thing…( I was never in college..just mutual friends who loved the Pack!) I deactivated it for about 4 yrs after cleaning house..deleted everyone except for about 30 …(and they are on notice!!! ha!!) and just recently reactivated it , and RARELY log on. It gives me heartburn!

              Maddening for sure…..and if I see ONE MORE crazy a$# business that has the “like us” sticker I’m going to screaaaaam!!!

              Um yeah.. total fan of the local funeral home!!! 😛

              • I feel social media in general (The Facebook, the Twitter, etc) encourages a level of narcissism I’m not personally comfortable with.

                • Posted by Sully on June 8, 2013 at 7:03 pm

                  Dr. Drew Pinksky has a good book called “The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism is Seducing America.” Couple that book with Nicholas Carr’s “The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains,” and you’ll start getting worried about the culture we have right now.

                  • I’m already worried about it. I cant help but wonder if the internet has helped fuel the entitlement complex of today’s society. If the privelege of instant gratification through one click hasn’t turned us into lazy, entitled a-holes who want what we want when we want it….

                • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 7:40 pm

                  You are SO not narcissistic our Eggo! You have made me laugh SO hard these past few months and brought back some amazing memories with your 80’s flashbacks! The last thing you are is narcissistic…the opposite I would say!!! Your writing is something else, it’s truth intertwined with so much humor…I honestly would’ve had a nervous breakdown during this trial if I wouldn’t have had the Tree House to hang out at.

                • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 8:10 pm

                  I shudder to think where I would be if I didn’t stumble upon this blog… I swear to you I don’t even remember…Huffington Post?? I was clicking, searching..clicking…SEARCHING for a semblence of sanity in all of the madness!
                  Not only did I find the motherload of gem’s in the blog. (I’m embarrassed to say how many times I’ve read and re-read!) but to find fellow minded folks that felt the same
                  way and could get an honest chuckle from their posts as well!
                  I say to the Florida woman that hit the big powerball…
                  “You may have won kazillions of dollars..but can you laugh daily with the antic’s of Eggy, and all the eggletts i’ve come to know and love?!?!””
                  I’ve been able to relive my childhood, and crazy teen years… as well as re-living expeirences that I’ve missed.
                  love, Love, LOVE this site!!!!
                  and if you Florida Powerball winner, did find this site, then welcome, WELCOME!!!
                  kick your shoes off, grab a beer and join the fun…because..THIS is what life is!

                  Enjoying a good laugh, making each other smile, and sharing the expeirence! 😛

            • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 6:24 pm

              DeeJay, you’re living a real life and real life isn’t sunshine and roses all the time!

            • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 9:03 am

              I think we’re all fractured individually and therefore makeup fractured families. That is the human condition and if some people want to pretend they aren’t they’re simply deluding themselves. I have a bragging sister-in-law who for 40 f-ing years has tried to lord over the rest of us losers. Now she’s on FB and has entire following to brag to – I “unfriended” her a few years ago and am now at a point of unfriending the entire FB operation. Give me Egg and her tree-house full of kindred spirits any day.

              • Posted by GBPL on June 10, 2013 at 3:47 pm

                Eggtree makes me like people I’ve never met….
                Facebook makes me dislike people I know in real life!!

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 8, 2013 at 6:47 pm

          It should be called…Lie-To-Your-Facebook

          • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 7:42 pm

            Or “Weeeee, look how happy I am!!! Look how amazing my life is!!!”.

          • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 8:27 pm

            LOL!! agree to both !!!
            I can’t even type out what was the big rage when I deactivated mine… people are bat$hit crazy sometimes!

            ahhh lol.. bat$hit was part of the craze!! hehehehe
            ok I hate evasive posts…
            basically they were posting pic’s of their $heet if it happened to make out a particular
            letter… can YOU BELIEVE??
            1-2 day’s of seeing toilet bowl pic’s was 1-2 day’s too much.

            Made me wish for the day’s when the posts were the standard…
            “Johnny just pooped in the toilet for the first time TODAY!!”

            *Whaddya think fellow kitty owners…shall we start making sentences with the litter box droppings?? omg!!! sooooooo kidding!!!!

            • Posted by Pfenix on June 9, 2013 at 6:27 pm

              Someone should have directed them to ratemypoo.com OH…I Shit you NOT, there is a website for people obsessed with that kind of crap. NO, NO NOT ME, was on a website and saw it in a list of links and thought…no it can’t be can it?…and well, curiosity got the better of me…Click and ACK!!…and then you pay the piper or in this case the pooper for your curiosity. Luckily it didn’t kill my cat, just my appetite.

              But on FACEBOOK?!?!?! Good Grief…brings new meaning to blowing sunshine up your arse. Well, that is what they do on Facebook.

          • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 9:10 am

            And the pictures they post might as well be air brushed or taken by Glamor Shots. Just like my fantasy REALISTIC Christmas letter I’d love to be a total smart ass and design a FB page with regular entries about the realities of life – cold sores, weight gain, hair loss, snoring and farting husbands, alcohol related incidents, financial woes, and how the kids REALLY turned out.

            • Posted by Ria on June 9, 2013 at 2:22 pm

              Well, the opposite to the “life is so great” FB posters, you do get the constant whiner’s who’ll never tell you what’s really going on but it’s always bad. They’ll just post cryptic messages like “worst day of my life” or “Please send thoughts and prayers everyone”…so you’re left going, WHAT? Tell me tell me!

              • Posted by Pfenix on June 9, 2013 at 6:31 pm

                Crisis was they broke a nail before a date…which totally ruined it. They need a SHUT UP ALREADY! button.

              • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 7:00 pm

                So true! Earlier this week someone wrote “the rug has been pulled out from under me” – nothing more. I didn’t respond. I don’t like the requests for prayer either – call me cynical – but I see much of that behavior as major attention seeking. I’m pretty much done with all that – have evolved past FB.

                • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 10, 2013 at 1:56 pm

                  Oh come on…you know you LOVE seeing those posts for EVERY SINGLE thought had, meal eaten, and crap taken! (my personal Hell was the gaming requests. I swear the reason FB changes their security settings so frequently is so all those stupid FarmVille messages go through) Oh yes, there’s also the picture “tagging”. Hello…if I WANTED those embarassing pics from jr high (when I sported the fluffy, hairspray encrusted bangs) shown to the world, I’d have done it my damn self!

                  • Posted by GBPL on June 10, 2013 at 4:19 pm

                    SOOOOOOO AGREE!!! I just thank the LOOOAAARD every day that this technology wasn’t around when we were teens…
                    I can’t remember ANYONE ever having a freaking camera *well remembering is something of a luxury when it comes to my partying years!
                    But yet there are a few pic’s of the day out there… I can’t imagine having every person and their grandma ready to snap a pic at any given time.
                    Pretty soon our pets are going to be outfitted with go-pro camera’s or google glass, and then our lives will be documented and automatically posted from their view for the world to see.
                    I envision a caption going something like this…
                    * just look at my drunken care givers.. someone send help please!
                    You heard it here first folks!! 😛

            • Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 10:08 am

              Do it…you will probably get noticed and end up in the media.

          • Posted by Maddy on June 10, 2013 at 2:19 pm

            “It should be called…Lie-To-Your-Facebook” That is SO funny!!! ;))))

  2. Posted by sharon on June 7, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Too funny.

    ” Like being trapped in a petridish of germs floating in the middle of a vast ocean? Try a cruise! ”

    Love it.

    • Posted by Codie on June 7, 2013 at 10:18 am

      So true! I’ll never cruise again. Yukky.

    • Posted by Lee Wright on June 7, 2013 at 11:28 am

      I think this one was my personal favorite, no way in hell you would get me on a boat in the middle of nowhere, I felt for all those people in the past months stuck with blocked toilets, bad food and vomit…… yuk, not for me!!!

  3. Posted by mystree10 on June 7, 2013 at 9:32 am

    Ahahaha Hahahha And I was just feeling sorry for myself because I can’t get away on a vacation this summer. Thank you for the laughs!!

  4. “Treat yourself to a sandwich”…too funny! I remember flying Wardair back in the day and it’s no wonder they went out of business…fine china, real siver, filet mignon, wine flowing from both sides of the aisle…oh those were the days. Hardly recall landing…

    Thanks for the travelling tips Eggy…I’m going to have to put a nerd strap on my horses BK crown tho…

    • OMG! I thought I was the only one who was seeing Kardashians everywhere! It’s like a bad rash. Their name is in the eggtree dictionary next to the word SKANK. Is there anywhere to go in the US where I can get away from them–even for a short vacation? And by the way, for a fun time, try being locked in a rolling box (RV) heading to a jolly campground that actually advertises a fire-ring and horseshoe tournament. You may see our story on HLN later this summer.

      • Oh, and to make matter worse, our rv still has a cassette deck.

      • Posted by Lisa K on June 7, 2013 at 12:25 pm

        You can’t go anywhere in the western hemisphere without being inundated with Kardashian drama. O’ye!

      • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 2:38 pm

        Wait until Kim gives birth to her child by God’s Gift to the World (I cannot STAND him!!!) Then even the magazines that don’t yet have a Kardashian on the front, will.

        • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 2:41 pm

          Forgive me, I believe he’s changed it to “Center of the Universe” (someone had to outdo P-Diddy. (or whatever HIS name is these days!)

      • Posted by Diane on June 7, 2013 at 2:38 pm

        I am so glad that I am not the only one who can’t cope with the made up Kardashian stories. I boycott every magazine that have their mugs on them. They have no talent, they rely on bogus magazine stories for survival. I would rather travel with the small kids in the back seat!

        • I just Kant with them. I Kant wait for their house of Kards to kome krashing down and send them floating on their plastik boobs into obskurity.

          • They are Kunts.

            • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:41 am

              ROFL!

            • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 7:58 pm

              I loooooove these!!! To think they are breeding…. Who would of ever thought during the O.J trial such a travesty would become this giant and haunt us all?!?!?!?

              They breed, and feed…we need to kill that seed! hehehe

              • I don’t know what the K’s are all about. They all need to go to space with Justin Beiber and never come back! And Bruce Jenner, what a freak. I saw him on tv the other night and I thought I would throw up every where. I had a couple of barf bags left from my last visit from the eggTree bar and filled them up quickly. OMG what a creep ! Who would have thought this once great O-limp-eeeeee-n would have turned out to be such a screwball.

        • Posted by potatoes browning on June 7, 2013 at 9:10 pm

          Eggy: Thanks for todays vacation pointers,they were a fun read . I would also add to your post that its not a wise decision to take the red eye from the west coast to florida and the drive back to California non stop with your son in 36 hours. Such a trip will leave one a in state true confusion around Van Horne Texasn..not something i will try again…@Diane its all so true but what puzzles me about the Kardashians is they have no talent they dont do anything really meaningful yet they have captured the attention of so many….but why? If any one out there can edify me I would be interested to hear the why of the Kardashians because I just dont get it…lets conversate!!!

          • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:58 am

            My husband and I moved from So Cal to Florida last year, we drove and OMG…Texas NEVER ends!!!

    • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 2:43 pm

      I read them as long as I don’t have to pay for them. Even a good laugh isn’t worth the ridiculous prices they’re charging for magazines!

  5. Posted by Ria on June 7, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Yay, a new post!!! Before they had the whole liquid limit on planes, I used to bring a 4 pack of mini bottles on board. In the 80’s you could smoke on planes…crazy to even think that now! I took the Amtrack from So Cal to NY in 1991, with my year old son…it was a nightmare! The toilets broke and they ran out of food.

    • I used to work for AA and we could smoke in the building where we made the reservations! Once they banned smoking, you could still see where the smokers sat. The ceiling was yellow! LOL

      • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:44 am

        I grew up with smokers Bea and if you moved a picture on the wall, the paint was all nice and clean underneath it because everything else was nicotine stained.

        • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 10, 2013 at 2:06 pm

          Too true!! I grew up with smokers too, so I remember any “vacation” as a young child was my sister and I squished into the TINY excuse for a backseat in my parents’ black TransAm (black w/a huge gold bird across the hood!) NO WINDOWS. I only remember. one time when they took the T-tops off (remember those?) so my sis and I probably “smoked” half of every cigarette lit in that car!

  6. Posted by Ria on June 7, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Oh, and Neneh Cherry, I’d totally forgotten about her!!! Going to look her up on youtube:)

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 7, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      Oh, HELL YEAH I still play Neneh Cherry, and have the movie Slaves of New York where she had it on the soundtrack…

      It’s sweetness that I am thinkin’ of…

  7. Posted by Laurel on June 7, 2013 at 10:29 am

    Number 7 is so true.
    We went on a cruise to Alaska and the noise of the generators and engines constantly rumbling drove me crazy. There was no peace onboard, it was utterly jarring to the nervous system.
    Food was blah, despite all the p.r. about how great it is. it isn’t. It is simply plentiful, which isn’t the same thing as great.
    I seriously thought about jumping overboard. never again.

    • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 2:48 pm

      I went on a Carnival cruise for my honeymoon (in ’97) and had a GREAT time! I’ve suggested it to many friends contemplating a vacation over the years…but with all the crap floating around those ships nowadays (both literally and figuratively) on top of knowing you can’t necessarily count on the crew to assist, (or to not flat out bail) in the event of an emergency, I will NEVER suggest it again.

      • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 3:15 pm

        This last years headlines was enough to squash any desire for me to go on a cruise!

        A few years ago my husband and I were flying to Miami, and I had a man and his little “dahling” of a daughter named CARLISLE sitting behind us…who had a penchent for kicking our seats, and playing her “Dora the Explorer” dvd on blast. This is how Daddy handled the situation…
        “Carlisle look at Daddy’s face….is Daddy happy or sad??” *repeat about a kazillion x’s
        finally we are taxing in the Miami airport, and guess who finally fell asleep!…

        I couldn’t resist..”BUH BYE CARLISLE!!! LOOK AT MY FACE!!! BUH BYE!!!”

        The father was not amused! 😛

        • Posted by Ria on June 7, 2013 at 5:28 pm

          OMG GB, I’m glad I didn’t have beer in my mouth when I read this:)

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 7, 2013 at 10:26 pm

          Surprised you didn’t also say…so is Daddy happy or sad? OR Hey Daddy, do I look happy or sad now that I’m leavin’. Bwahahahahaha

        • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 8, 2013 at 6:22 am

          Reminds me of an old Bill Cosby joke about being on a plane with a boy named Jeffrey who was similar to Carlisle. Love how you ended it all with your comment. I usually frown and shake my head for all to see.

        • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 4:43 pm

          Ackkk I should of said that Pfenix!! “Hey Daddy..look how FREAKING happy we are now that we are leaving!!”

          I just felt avenged that little Carlisle woke up and was suuper cranky!!!

          Marnie…LOVE Bill Cosby!!! We would all gather around the record player and listen to those albums over and over again!!!
          One that comes to mind was the “belt” and all the poor grief Russell got!!!

          Chicken heart!! whoohooo!!

          Probably why I love the comedy channel so much now,..and love the humor of
          Your Majesty Queen Eggo!!! 😛

  8. Posted by Marnie Paige on June 7, 2013 at 10:37 am

    And I thought Egg was being serious – at first……..then on to lots of laughs.

  9. Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 10:58 am

    Just what the Dr. ordered! Nothing like a good belly laugh to make one feel better!

    “flip flops for that ice machine run”!,..”family rickshaw”!…”everyone needs a little “me time”!….LOL..could barely tap that out thru the tears!!! 😀

  10. Posted by Lee Wright on June 7, 2013 at 11:37 am

    Good Friday, Hi High Queen Egg, so happy to get a new post from you, made my day, had a sick cat yesterday, trip to the vet, boohoo bucks, but he’s better today. My vacation will be spent with a sandwich, pop, and the TV because there is no way I can leave him. he has separation anxiety when I go to the loo! Cheers all, have a great weekend, its only 111 deg. here in Arizona, getting toasty!!!

    • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 1:46 pm

      Try to stay cool Lee! I love that your kitty has anxiety when you go to the ‘loo” lol!!!

      Mine swipes her little paws under the door trying to get in!

      Glad yours is feeling better!!! =^.,.^= *see Jenniferlynn!! 😉

      • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 2:58 pm

        VERY nice, GB! 🙂 My cat bites my ankles if I start talking to someone and he wants my attention. Not quite as endearing as having a little kitty paws stuck under the door. Even little feline anxiety might be preferable preferableat times!

        Lee, you might think about trying a few drops of “kitty kalm” if the anxiety isn’t just while your kitty’s sick. It’s just a supplement, so you can buy it online. I’ve never used it personally, but I have to put 4 drops in the food of the cat I “pet-sit” for. (I think they started using it originally because they thought her constant vomiting was anxiety. Turns out it was hairballs. Go figure. lol)

        • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 3:00 pm

          I just LOVE auto-fill. AND the fact that it’s usually wrong.

        • Posted by Lee Wright on June 7, 2013 at 3:07 pm

          Thanks, never thought of that, I usually try to sneak out the door while he’s not looking, but if I peek through the window he looks so sad, it break my heart, and he sulks when I come back to make me feel bad for going out, and it works, I feel like a heel every time. Can’t catch a break really.

          • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 3:22 pm

            Here in “Merica they call that… “—– whipped”!!!! LOL!!! I crack myself up!!!

            Sorry I couldn’t resist!! 😀

            I know the feelings of guilt Lee… They do have a way for making us feeling guilty even if we are doing our best to please them.
            I got my dog the new Racheal Ray dogfood.. first two days he gobbled it up, now he’s used to me giving him “wiscous treats” So now he buries his food with straw in protest!
            He sits there with his dirty nose, and looks the other way when I check to see if he ate yet!!!

            So then i’ll break down and give him wiscous treats afterall…

            so yah..he’s got me trained…and I admit…I”m whipped!!! 😉

            • Posted by Lee Wright on June 7, 2013 at 3:59 pm

              Don’t you love it when you open the most expensive can of food and they sniff at it and walk away like “Do you expect me to eat that?” Talk about high maintenance!!!!

              • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 4:15 pm

                YES!! I swear my sons would shake their heads if they knew how I bend over backwards to please these pets.
                If they didn’t like what I served for dinner they went to bed hungry,… now i’m actually pressure cooking foods for my pets! 😀

                Its the empty nest syndrome…I’ve got to “mother” something! As my husband would say.. there is is difference between “mother-ing” and “smothering”
                My horses are fortunate they are a few miles away, or I would be all over them daily too… one day my equine son’s…one day!!!! 😀

                • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 6:59 pm

                  aww, you mean you AREN’T going to adopt a small monkey that you can dress up in baby clothes and push around in a stroller? (then we could see you on TLC!)

                  As for the food thing….I swear they get MAD that they’re being fed from an already opened bag of (cat)food!!

                  • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 8:19 pm

                    Is there a show like that!?!?! lol!!!
                    I found as long as I shake the bag of opened food, the girls are o.k. with eating it..but heaven forbid if they don’t hear the shake…then it sits there till the ants get it!!
                    Even the horses cop attitudes over feed every now and then… but they got the bestest widdle kisses and smells that it makes up for it! 🙂

                • Posted by Lee Wright on June 7, 2013 at 7:47 pm

                  Exactly what my sons say about me, my two cats are my babies, I swear I spend more time buying their food than I do for myself, whatever they liked last week, they are not into this week, go figure… what you gonna do?,

                  • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 8:21 pm

                    * shakes head… Kid’s these days… I mean… cat’s these days!! 😛

                • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 8, 2013 at 6:27 am

                  My grown kids complain that there are more pics of our dogs on the refrigerator than I ever had of them. Too bad the dogs can’t color or their artwork would out number the kids’ as well.

                  • My son is a mastiff mix, ( weight 120 ) my daughter is a snoodle doodle (weight 12) and my step dog is a lab ( weight 80) and they own me! I cook chicken for them, mix with dry food and I have to buy little bitty dog biscuits for them because they won’t eat any other treats. Every time I start getting dressed to go out, they know and tails get wagging and Dakota ( mastiff) smiles and gives me all kinds of kisses. I have been known to drive them around the block just to give them a ride! Am I owned or what?

                    • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 9:22 am

                      You are definitely owned! And you are a gift to your dogs with all that treatment. Same operation going on here. 2 Bernese Mt. Dogs, Scout and Trip – 90 lbs and 140. We cook chicken, ground beef/rice, and “spaghetti night”. We even installed a dog drinking fountain in the yard (a huge boulder with a hole drilled through that goes to a pump in the ground and a 100 gal tank – looks like a bubbling water feature). After making lots of mistakes with the real kids we’ve FINALLY gotten out act together.

                    • Posted by GBPL on June 9, 2013 at 2:06 pm

                      Ok..i’ve not gotten to the point of driving them around the block..yet! I do feel bad when I promise to go on a run with them, then don’t. So then I indulge them with treats!
                      Marnie! I love that ” After making lots of mistakes with the real kids we’ve FINALLY gotten our act together.”

                      😀 😀

  11. Posted by Lisa K on June 7, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    My faves:

    “If you are travelling by car on a family road trip with small children in the backseat, you should kill yourself. ”

    and

    “Regardless of the outcome, place the crown you got from Burger King atop your horse’s head for the remainder of your journey.”

    Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

    Burger King crowns make everything better. Maybe I’ll wear one to class next week during the final exam to cheer up my poor, tired students….

  12. Posted by TJ Fields on June 7, 2013 at 1:06 pm

    Thanks for the ever so cleaver tips, er I mean trips! Love you blog! Now if you can only get the screaming carry on babies to shut their parents up while sitting next to you. We know how why the babies cry, they hate the chatter too!

    Terry the Traveler!

  13. Posted by Tracy on June 7, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    So, so funny; but especially loved No. 10 which states to “report every second of your trip on the social media sites.” Barely get on social media just because of the travel logs.

  14. Posted by Pfenix on June 7, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    P.M. LOVE them!!!! Till one of my favorite songs, how could anyone hate this coming out of your Walkman?

  15. My personal fave was Set Adrift on Memory Bliss. Just thinking bout it gives me 7th grade flashbacks….

  16. Ahhhh yeeeeah…. All i need is a side teased ponytail held together by a bananaclip, fan bangs cemented into place by a sizzling curling iron and aqua net, lace-cuffed jeanshorts over stirrup leggings, an Esprit crop top, and Im back in junior high.

  17. Posted by Ria on June 7, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    This one is from my very early 80’s “Nu Ro” phase.

    • Posted by Ria on June 7, 2013 at 6:48 pm

      Oh, and my best friend and I saw Adam Ant LIVE in concert in 1983…oh yes we did! INXS opened for him and got boo’d off the stage. Good times!

      • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 8:15 pm

        Whaaaat??? INXS got boo’d off the stage?? That’s so crazy!!
        I loved Adam Ant’s crazy antic’s and duo drummers… No one knew who he was when I blew into SW MO!!! I was all punked out with black nail polish, safety pin in my ear and big ole Ninja bangs!

        But “What you need” is my all time fav from INXS!!! 😛

        • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:50 am

          That’s too funny GB! After we left England we moved to a small town in Canada for 6 years then, when I was 14 we moved to So Cal…my brother and I went back to our little town for a week to stay with our dad and I was just too cool with my short hair, my triple pierced ears and my trendy clothes. They were all still in the Led Zeppelin phase so they were asking me if I was a punk rocker:)

          Didn’t the lead singer from INXS end up committing suicide?

          • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 1:17 pm

            I think it was an accidental suicide as memory serves…like he was into that weird kinky sex of choking oneself,.. I’m pretty sure thats what happened.. 😦

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 7, 2013 at 8:24 pm

      It’s so 80’s Arty…God I miss good music videos!!!!!!

      • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 8:53 pm

        I must confess…I watched all of the above and again, I’ve never seen/heard them before!
        Must be my age..I graduated in ’81 and will be… *gasp* 50 this year!

        I was more in the rock of the times.. Zeppelin, Stones, Billy Squier, The Cars, AC/DC, Tom Petty ect…
        The punk part of me was into the B-52’s, Split Enz, Devo, Sex Pistols, Ramones,The Clash, and the Plasmatics… Oh my word..Wendy Williams?!!?
        I shudder to think! lol

        • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:51 am

          OMG, Billy Squier was awesome!!! I graduated in 86 so you’re not that much ahead of me.

      • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:51 am

        Me too Pfenix! I bombard my poor kids with emails full of 80’s youtube video’s:)

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 8, 2013 at 10:15 am

          Graduated in 84, I remember when MTV started and it was THE BEST. Was blown away by Annie Lenox, still love her music. Her is one for the kids…Sweet Dreams

          • Posted by Pfenix on June 8, 2013 at 10:16 am

            Of course anything by the Police too!!!!

            • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 6:28 pm

              • Posted by Pfenix on June 8, 2013 at 6:56 pm

                So HOT! Favorite is “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic”…and TEARS FOR FEARS. Saw them live during there Seeds of Love tour. These Japanese students sat in front off us, screaming for SHOUT. 80’s Brit rockers yummy…oh, and of course Duran Duran!

                • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 7:14 pm

                  I love Tears for Fears! I used to fall asleep listening to them with my giant headphones on!

                  • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 7:31 pm

                    Queen Eggo’s going to ban me from her site if I don’t stop:)

                    • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 9:24 am

                      Time for me to buy a new Duran Duran CD for the car! Robert Palmer….will add him to the list too.

                • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 7:48 pm

                  if your banned…I’m the one right before you!!!

                  Ria your too much!! I tried for a spell adding a disclaimer to my posts as to hoping that they wouldn’t offend anyone, and it’s quite exhausting, we all know that offense on this site is not intended. Crazy a$s video’s included! heheehehe!!

                  I was busy “birth’in babies” during the Duran Duran, Tears for Fears phase…. I just lived vicarously thru all the stories back then… *pre cell phone, internet , ect.!!!!

                  • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:10 pm

                    I had my little men in 90, 92 and 93 GB but I was the mom, cruising down the street, with music blasting! It’s a miracle my boys can actually hear today:)

          • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 7:19 pm

            Yes! I loved this song! Annie Lennox!!!

    • Posted by GBPL on June 10, 2013 at 8:42 pm

      gotta get my B-52’s in hurrrr

  18. Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    Love the new post, Egg…I had images of the Griswold Family Truckster in my head!!

  19. Posted by jennIferlyn on June 7, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    this is THE SONG of my jr high school days:

    http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=kO6BtpIzIiM

  20. Posted by Cindy Lou on June 7, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    Oh, the family road trips with all us small children in the backseat does bring back the memories..my Dad smoked a pipe, my mom her cigarettes! Not a seatbelt in sight. When my Dad wasn’t driving like a maniac, he was busy looking for money saving opportunities. One time we pulled into the gas station for a fill up, just as the attendant approached my Dad spied a station across the road selling gas for 8/10 of a cent cheaper, so he pulled out to cross over to the other station leaving the attendant in the dust..the coup de Grace however was on theses magical summer vacations zipping back and forth to my Grandmother’s, we zipped right past Six Flags over Texas coming and going thru Dallas on the interstate..we could clearly see the Ferris wheels and joy riding kids having the time of there lives. Never stopped once, good times!

    • Posted by GBPL on June 7, 2013 at 8:38 pm

      Awesome Cindy Lou!

      We were all crammed in the station wagon… the coveted seat was that death trap in the back where two kids could sit where the jack should be, facing the back and inhaling all the toxic fumes?!? Yah that one!
      My sister and I would hold up signs that said “Help us!!” and people would just wave and honk!!! Yikes! If they ever did that today!!!
      Plus the entire trip was trying to get a semi to honk at you, and dare a sibling to cross the imaginary line on the seat so you could holler..”SHE’S TOUCHING ME!!”
      Only to feel the wrath of the Father’s touch miraculously reach from the front seat and cuff the offending tattle tale upside the head with never wavering between the lines on the road!!!
      Good times indeed!

      • Posted by Cindy Lou on June 7, 2013 at 8:48 pm

        LOL, are you my sister GBPL??? We apparently had the same childhood..!

      • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 8, 2013 at 6:41 am

        I always wanted one of those station wagons but we were in the family sedan – the 4 of us. My brother was the one who made the imaginary line on the seat I was never allowed to cross…my mother was smoking…my father with his arm resting out the window (no AC) that would be “red as a lobster” (his words) by the time we pulled in for the first night’s stop. Driving around at home my parents would listen to radio stations that my brother and I liked – typical rock and roll – but on vacation trips those AM stations faded and we were stuck with recorded church services (traveling in the deep south). My Dad refused to speed…said he was on vacation and could “do whatever the hell” he wanted – included poking along in the right lane. Cars (usually from NY or NJ) would floor it to pass us giving all sorts of gestures. Oh the days…then as an adult with my own children in the back I can relate to Egg’s comment to simply kill yourself.

        • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 1:20 pm

          I love the “recorded church services” followed by “I can do what ever the hell” he wanted… 😛

        • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 7:25 pm

          Marnie, I wanted a station wagon too but we traveled the country in a brown Pontiac Le Mans!

          Queen Eggo, you are the BEST! You’ve brought so many amazing memories back for me with your post and the wonderful commenters!!!

          • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 9:35 am

            A Pontiac Le Mans…at least it wasn’t a Buick Electra or Olds 88. Ours was a Ford Fairlane. Even the name makes me laugh. My brother and I would keep a running tab of cars we’d laugh at and call them “bombs” – any large 4 door Pontiac, Olds, Buick, or Dodge – usually containing a VERY serious looking family who never looked out the window toward us or laughed – then we’d laugh even more until our parents told us to shut up. We laughed at Ramblers too but the best of all was a Plymouth Valiant – the old ones that looked like sharks – they’d have us rolling on the floor.

            • Posted by Cindy Lou on June 9, 2013 at 12:20 pm

              2 door cranapple red Ford Fairlane for us, the better to stuff 3 kids in the back seat of.

    • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 9:54 am

      Yes Cindy Lou!!! My mom had this habit of flicking her ciggie out the front window and it would come flying in the back window, narrowly missing our heads.

      • Posted by GBPL on June 8, 2013 at 1:21 pm

        Heaven forbid if it ever rained on a car trip and two chain smoking parents..
        We would all be green from the second hand smoke!

        • Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 6:32 pm

          Yes! And we always had to sit in the smoking section of the plane or any restaurant we went to. God knows what my lungs looked like at the age of 12.

        • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 9:38 am

          My mother would crack the front window (winter) and I’d inwardly groan, “oh no, she’s at it again.” It’s a miracle her discarded butts out the window never flew into the backseat. I think they came close a few times. Boredom during family car vacations would drive me to observing any detail…even the disposal of my mother’s cigarette butts.

        • Posted by Cindy Lou on June 9, 2013 at 12:25 pm

          Where were child services when we needed them, lol. The longest conversation we had with my Mom every day was for her to remind us not to be back until dinner time as we headed out the door every morning. 🙂

          • Posted by Ria on June 9, 2013 at 2:29 pm

            LOL Cindy, I remember we’d get someone’s mom to take us somewhere, like the mall, then I’d call my mom to see if she’d pick us up and would get a “You got yourself there so you can get yourself home” and promptly get hung up on!

            • Posted by GBPL on June 10, 2013 at 4:40 pm

              If we ever missed the bus,… it was 8 miles into town…My Dad would say…
              “You got two legs and two thumbs don’tcha…beat it!”
              On the super cold Wisconsin days if we happened to miss the bus… we’d just hide in our bedrooms till he left for work and then pitch the letter that came that notified him that we missed that day.

              Those were the days my friends…those were the days!

              I still have dreams… (going to be 50 soon!) of missing that damn bus, AND missing the school lunch!

              I was of the bunch back then designated as a “freak”.. of the two things you could be…freaks or jocks! lol… so we had other things to do during our “off” hours….then we come to realize…”Omg ..i didn’t eat today ..is lunch over?!?!!”

              at the moment,…I’m taking total offense as being titled a freak for my HS years!! 😀

              • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 11, 2013 at 5:32 am

                “beat it” – now how many times did I hear those words?? Man – those were the days and we survived. Imagine telling one of the little darlings these days to beat it.

                • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 11:41 am

                  When my stepsister graduated from high school, some bratty kid was sitting in front of us so my stepdad took his giant finger and flicked the kid in the back of the head LOL. OMG, he’d be arrested for doing that now!

  21. Cool 😎 tips – tanky Eggy.

  22. I have a friend, sort of, who liked (past tense) to make sure to rub in our faces how much she was a major ‘cruiser.’ Apparently the definition changed over the years (unbeknownst to moi) from police car to someone who enjoys going on a cruise ship. You see back in the early 90s we took our one AND ONLY cruise. No further explanation is necessary for you all understand. I just loved loved LOVED how she STOPPED bragging about her cruising life when all the news broke out of the supreme raunchiness of this overly advertised vacation on a floating cattle feeding/pooping extravaganza. Not hearing her speak of this major topic of her conversation is exquisitely peaceful, once again. Ahhhh. The three minute egg.

  23. Posted by Janine on June 8, 2013 at 5:52 am

    Number one trip to travelling with children drug them up.

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 8, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Praise the Lord and pass the Children’s Benedryl…

      • I tried Dramamine with my son. Of course it had the opposite reaction and fired him up for at least 150 miles. Thus the meaning of HELL ON WHEELS. Next trip I took the Dramamine and it was the best trip I ever had. Husband——not so much.

  24. Posted by Ria on June 8, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    I don’t think this worked when I posted above so, for all the Duran Duran fans..Nu Ro at its finest!

    • Posted by GBPL on June 10, 2013 at 7:52 pm

      oh MY WORD!!! How did I ever miss..LOVERBOY???

      My very first concert when I was 14 …I had to hitchhike to Milwaukee, because I just pawned my very rare clarinet for 2 tickets to the Forienger , Jefferson Airplane, Ted Nugent, and Bob Welch summer jam!!

      Yes..they were still billed as “Jefferson Airplane” that year…

      wow… The Summer Jam with Loverboy was in 82 I think…

      * see kids…it never pays to do drugs…your memory goes the crapper!!

      • Posted by Pfenix on June 10, 2013 at 10:27 pm

        My first concert was REO Speedwagon at Alpine Valley when I was 13. Friend has a summer house on Lake Geneva and her 17 year old cousin drove us there. We had snuck in Vodka and OJ, and saw this guy trading hits of Opium for a shot of Jack Daniels, Beer, etc. Very Popular Dude.

        So who ends up sitting behind me??? Mr. Opium himself!!! Can you get high from 2nd hand Opium smoke and swigs of screwdrivers? High, was an understatement, I was floating above the crowd…I understood the word Nirvana. Good Times!

      • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 2:57 am

        OMG GB, can you imagine seeing a 14 year old girl hitchhiking these days! Did your parents know you pawned your clarinet? Rebel!!!

        • Posted by GBPL on June 11, 2013 at 8:24 pm

          I was a terrible little rebel! Really that is one of my biggest regrets, is not getting that clarinet back. But It was a great time!
          I look at 14 yr olds today, and just can’t believe I thought I was old enough, and smart enough. yikes!!

          Pfenix loooove Alpine Valley! My favoritist venue for sure!

  25. Haha, another excellent blog! BTW, things are better now than back in the day, when people would invite you to their house and force you to watch their 8mm vacation footage with no sound and them blabbing away. FB is like heaven compared to that.

    • How about the endless Tweets from folks on vacation—-*sand in crack-lol* *gull pooped on mom* *pool smells like pee* or * ocean sure is big* I have a personal aversion to all the tweeting of crap nobody really cares about—as a society we have succeeded in trivializing ourselves and we are currently paying for it! On that happy note, enjoy your Sunday !

    • Posted by Ria on June 9, 2013 at 10:04 am

      Very true! My dad got a slide projector in the late 80’s and it was pure torture sitting through one of his slide shows.

  26. Queen egg this was wonderful! My fav. BurgerKing Crown. I was watching the Belmont stakes yesterday and couldn’t keep from thinking about it. The horse, the crown. I visioned an old horse, head drooping with the crown slowly cruising along the interstate with an expression of ” what the hell am I doing out here?” And he station wagon , there was seven children in our family and we didn’t have a station wagon. We all packed up in whatever car daddy had and took our trips to Michigan. We were piled up everywhere in the car with without air so the sweat and stink was everywhere! These old cars smoked like freight trains and daddy would have to stop and buy used motor oil just to get us there. We never had a spare tire soooooo our trips were on a hope and a prayer. (Hoped we got there and prayed we got back) never ate at restaurants always ate baloney sandwiches.youngsters today wouldn’t make it on our trips! But every summer we went to Michigan. Those Yankees really believed they met the Hibillies and they did! Memories memories. Thanks Egg’ie for bringing them back.

    • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 9:46 am

      Reba..these past vacation recollections have me remembering all sorts of details. We never ate in restaurants either except for breakfast (because I’d get car sick and they figured out I needed solid food in my stomach). We’d have an ice chest with sandwiches (ham or cheese) – coke – Hershey bars (strictly rationed) – and wet washcloths if I continued to throw up. The big breakfast seemed to do the trick for me but my father didn’t like that we weren’t “making good time” with a meal stop.

      • Posted by GBPL on June 9, 2013 at 2:28 pm

        Awww you guys got hershey bars!?!?! lol
        Ours were pretty much verbatim of Reba’s!
        We stopped at a little store, got a loaf of white bread, bolonga cut from the little old man behind the deli counter, a bag of chips, banana’s and a warm pop!
        Love the “hope and a prayer!” Altough I was completely oblivious to the dangers I was in my entire childhood!

      • OMG! We had the sandwiches, too!!! Before we left in the long hot car trip my mother would give us a Toni Home Permanent and then make us wear hairnets while traveling so the “permanent won’t blow out before we get there”. also, did anyone else’s mother travel with a small can of Lysol and a box of paper toilet seats for when we stopped at a rest center? The first thing she did when we finally stopped at our Howard Johnson’s was to run in the bathroom to check out the little strip around the toilet that said her favorite motto—Sanitized for your protection”. I am not like her, but my sis is a clone.

        • Posted by jennIferlyn on June 10, 2013 at 2:20 pm

          I don’t know which is worse, the warm bologna sandwiches of your youth, or the warm deviled ham sandwiches of mine? They’re BOTH gross when warm, and deviled ham is just gross. l can still see that paper-wrapped can with the red devil on it. (but I never understood why they wrapped the can in paper instead of just using a label)

          • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 10, 2013 at 3:45 pm

            Those deviled ham cans! How I remember them in the kitchen cabinet but I put the brakes on actually eating it. I was the kid who would rather starve. And my mother also traveled with a can of Lysol that she would whip out to sanitize the motel room bathroom – toilet, sink and shower. My grandmother tried to pull the Toni (Tonette for kids) permanent on me but I eventually put the brakes on that too after a few times when and my hair looked nothing like the picture on the instructions. She’d chastise me that my hair was “straight as a stick” and I finally convinced her that was just how I liked it.

            • I was a very fair-skinned round-faced little girl. Imagine if you will (post Tonette) an Irish potato with frizzy pincurls. I can also remember my mother making me wear organdy dresses to church……….same spud plus ruffles. You know, it seems this thread is a lot like therapy. Let’s get all the pain out!!!!!!!

              • Yes, those dang perms. Which was worse the stink from us or the stink from the perm? How bout both. My mother and grand mother made our dresses out of flour sack back in the day, really! My sister and I got new dresses right before school. My five brothers wore jeans. And y’all, they were designer, they were faded and had holes everywhere. Yep, those were designers. I didn’t like devilrd ham, but I can’t remember eating it too many times. To expensive but we did eat tuna fish sandwiches. Tuna fish was the Steak of our sandwiches! You know, I never thought about why deviled ham cans were wrapped but now you have me wondering lol! Y’all, sharing these memories and hearing your is so much fun! Love it!

                • Btw, I live and war born in Arkansas, we were the Hillbillies before the Beverly Hillbilies. My sister read some of our charting last night and I’ve invited her to join us in the Treehouse and have some fun! She’s still a hillbilly.

                  • Hey girl–I’m a Tennessee mountain momma. I think the deviled ham cans had fancy wrapping so we can tell it from dog food——-it looks the same. How do you devil a ham anyway? Do you piss it off right before you kill it? I love country store signs, so here’s one out front of a store between here and Asheville………….Bobbi’s Bridal and Bait. My sis just called to tell me there was a man hanging upside down from a tree in her neighbor’s yard with his pants falling off ! She’s a widow so she was a little interested in this. I told her just go on out and cut him down- if he was falling out of a tree it must be from God.

                    • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 11, 2013 at 4:53 am

                      A sign near us: “Auto Repair and Cold Beer” – I wonder if the repairing and cold beer drinking happen at the same time. Probably.

              • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 11, 2013 at 4:52 am

                Oh my – pin curls! At least it was comfortable to sleep on the bobby pins.

                • Oh my gosh, I had forgotten about those!!! And how about having your hair rolled with using cut up tobacco cans? I don’t guess you really call it rolled as the”rollers” were flat strips of Prince Albert! Back in the day, you used anything not nailed down. It worked though. Wow!

              • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 11, 2013 at 5:09 am

                I loved organdy dresses but only had one – my mother didn’t like to iron. It was an official Easter dress one year that became a “birthday party” dress. We’d get a new outfit for Easter (hat and shoes included). We’d dress for church and then my father would take our picture in the front yard. My mother and I wore white gloves. Recently my daughter and I were cleaning out my parents’ attic – lo and behold – there was one of my old Easter hats!

            • Posted by Sharon on June 12, 2013 at 4:48 pm

              Do you remember the slogan for Devil’s Ham? ‘the devils in the kitchen’. We made so many jokes over that one.

          • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 3:00 am

            I actually liked deviled ham! But warm?? Blech.

        • Posted by GBPL on June 10, 2013 at 7:13 pm

          How funny you gals!
          My Mom used to give home perms at our house,and if we ever complained of the smell we were banned to the outdoors till bedtime!
          When I became a hairdresser, I told the instructer, ” I don’t ever think I’ll get used to the smells of perms or colors” and she so smartly told me..
          “Honey…you will soon learn THAT is the smell of money!”

          A client just brought me an old “Toni” perm box with roller and bottles included that she found in a flea market. Little did she know that smell sent me into the corner , rocking and sucking my thumb!!! 😛

          • We had the Ogilvie home perms back in the late 80’s. We were banished to the backyard because of the smell, and when we finally washed it out and styled it, my father asked if I had made out with a light socket. Frizzy blond Top Ramen hair. Not a good look.

            • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 11, 2013 at 4:44 am

              Am honestly laughing and shorting out loud! My father would tell me that I looked like I put my finger in the light socket!

              • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 11, 2013 at 4:46 am

                Meant to say snorting but “shorting” fits in with the finger in the light socket concept.

                • We had two little poodles, and I remember my mom and dad having a huge fight because he said he thought our hair looked like poodle asses. After the organdy-poodle trauma of my childhood, today I am happy to wear only comfortable cotton clothing when I can, and I haven’t had a perm in 40 years .My son says I was always fun to travel with after the Dramamine wore off because I just threw stuff in the trunk and was ready to go. My mother spent two weeks planning the packing. I can understand why vacations were not as fun for her and that makes me sad.

              • LOL There was a period in junior high I refer to as my Unfortunate Lion’s Mane Phase. I got really “creative” with a curling iron and hairspray, and my dad would always ask me if I had just come out of a wind tunnel, and if so, what the hell was I doing in a wind tunnel?

                • Posted by Ria on June 12, 2013 at 6:28 am

                  LOL Eggo! In junior high we would put tons of hairspray on before we went roller skating, you could lift one hair and the entire hairdo would lift up. The big thing when I was in high school was Sun In, had to have it in our beach bags!

                • Posted by GBPL on June 12, 2013 at 7:48 pm

                  I was sporting the unfortunate ORANGE Lions mane!
                  What the heck was in those Ogilvies anyways!
                  When doing MY home perms my dad would say..”Well if that perm didn’t curl your hair the smell definitely would!”
                  and thought those were good smelling then! 😉

            • Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 9:28 pm

              Here is the commercial for Ogilvie Home Perm, yeah I couldn’t resist this flashback

            • Posted by Pfenix on June 12, 2013 at 12:30 am

              Here is another…So Eggy these commercials were all lies? FLASHBACK!!!

          • Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 9:33 pm

            Here is the Toni commercial…ooooh watch that hair grow!

            • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 12, 2013 at 5:02 am

              Thanks Phenix for the best laugh of the day! My brain even conjured up the infamous smell while I watched these videos.

            • Posted by Ria on June 12, 2013 at 6:30 am

              I was cursed with naturally curly hair and spent endless hours blowdrying it straight so I could then feather it with my curling iron:) Never did the home perm thing.

            • Posted by GBPL on June 12, 2013 at 7:51 pm

              Oh those were AWESOME!! I almost remembered that last Ogilvie’s word for word..
              “for body that lasts and lasts!!”

    • Posted by Ria on June 9, 2013 at 10:05 am

      LOL Reba! My dad would get excited when he’d see a Stuckey’s…99 cent breakfast!

      • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 1:42 pm

        Stuckey’s! A name from the past for sure. We always stopped and my mother would get the pecan logs.

        • Posted by Ria on June 9, 2013 at 2:30 pm

          They still exist Marnie! My husband and I stopped at one for breakfast, they still allow smoking in there too, as some very elderly lady demonstrated.

          • OOOHHH! I loooved stopping at Stuckeys! We were so politically incorrect back then…..most of our Stuckeys here in the south had Indian dolls, moccasins, spears and feathered headdresses, so every time we went we had to get feathers and spears and wear them all over Gatlinburg or wherever. I can still see us-two little blond chubby white girls with that garb on and doing the Indian yell around the pool at the Howard Johnson Motor Lodge…CRINGE!!!!!!!!

            • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 9, 2013 at 7:08 pm

              I wanted some of the Indian items so bad! OSW…you lucked out. All I got was a bathroom break and a piece or two of my mother’s pecan log. All my life I’ve wanted one of those darn dolls. You were Howard Johnson’s….we were Holiday Inn. My father would drive hundreds of miles beyond what any normal family man would drive just to stay at the one he’d planned before departure.

            • Posted by Pfenix on June 9, 2013 at 8:42 pm

              They still do in Texas…

              • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 10, 2013 at 5:20 am

                The pic of Claxton fruit cakes sparked yet another vacation memory. We’d start seeing signs in GA for their factory – free samples – “watch them being made” and my mother would start suggesting a quick stop there. Every trip – same sign – same comments from my Mom. My father would accelerate to get through the town of Claxton – not even responding to my mother. I guess the entire family was abused back in the day! A few years ago we were in the area and I told my husband the horrid tale of being deprived of a Claxton factory visit so we stopped…yet another dream achieved.

                • Posted by Cindy Lou on June 10, 2013 at 2:57 pm

                  What was our father’s obsession about “making goog time”, I mean it was completely crazy!! My dad also had a little memo pad thing in the glove compartment for recording gas mileage. I only wish I were kidding about this.To this day, my Dad asks me what kind of mileage my “vehicle” gets. I usually gulp and hope my answer sounds convincing. We still kid him about him asking my mom the map navigator for directions, and her answer was always a frantic “You should have turned back there!!”, pointing to whichever exit we had just whizzed by..

                  • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 10, 2013 at 3:53 pm

                    I was traumatized by my father’s obsession about the map. He’d have my mother read it while he drove only to complain she knew nothing about reading maps and could never fold it up correctly. My father’s obsession about making good time never made sense to me because HE was the one who refused to speed – actually refused to do the speed limit is more like it. He’d reduce our speed by a few mph to get good gas mileage!!!
                    And there’s even more now that I think about it – like Dad’s obsession with the way the trunk was packed just so. If a station wagon passed us (everyone passed us) that was packed not to my father’s standards we’d hear the same speech every time – “look at that mess….looks like they just threw their things in the car…..someone could be killed if they slam on the brakes.”

              • Posted by Ria on June 10, 2013 at 8:01 am

                Nice find Pfenix!!! They always had miles and miles of the teaser signs…Stuckey’s 11 miles…Stuckey’s 10 miles:)

            • Posted by Ria on June 10, 2013 at 8:05 am

              I had a tomahawk but I don’t think it was from Stuckey’s. The blade part was made out of rubber. I remember getting a plastic back scratcher from Stuckey’s and my mom was fulfilling her dream of collecting souvenir spoons from every state in the U.S.

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 9, 2013 at 6:52 pm

          YES, YES! Better get Mommy her Pecan Logs or else! http://www.stuckeys.com/ Woohoo they have website with a finder.

    • Posted by Ria on June 10, 2013 at 8:31 am

      I can’t imagine wanting to own one of those shirts. I’m watching parts of the trial I missed, I hadn’t heard the part about Travis throwing a cd and it hitting her in the head and then pinning her up against his desk with her arms twisted behind her back. I honestly had to laugh a little bit because her tales are so ludicrous!

      Her description of Travis using decorative rope to tie her up with really had me chuckling. How long would it have to be to fit behind his sleigh bed, like she described? Did he hit up the local Hobby Lobby for 20 feet of decorative rope??? Even his sister Sam was smiling at the ridiculousness of her claims.

      • Posted by sharon on June 10, 2013 at 9:35 am

        Gonna date myself here, but…..maybe it was from the drapes Scarlett made a dress from in Gone with the Wind.

    • Posted by Observer on June 10, 2013 at 2:22 pm

      The author of the Voice for men.com article has it backwards. Is he even reading media reports or watching HLN? Ninety nine percent of the nation including domestic violence victims were outraged that Jodi would claim to be a victim of domestic violence when it was clear she was the perpetrator. Feminists and victims of domestic violence were outraged at Jodi’s false claims against Travis Alexander and at Alice LaViolette for lying for her. LaViolette even got death threats. No one but her family and a few crazies is buying Jodi’s t shirts or LaViolette’s book. Amazon got bombarded by thousands of bad reviews on LaViolette’s book and Ebay stopped selling Arias’s goods after thousands of complaints from customers.

  27. Posted by jennIferlyn on June 10, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    Saw the title for the following article, and (though it had nothing to do with the Stabby trial) I IMMEDIATELY thought of all the GREAT eggs I’ve met on this site!

    “Dead Giveaways That You Drank the Koolaid In Los Angeles”

    http://www.rightthisminute.com/video/15-symptoms-la-life-los-angeles-buzzfeed-traffic-cleanse

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 10, 2013 at 7:21 pm

      Lived in LA from 90-97, and some things NEVER CHANGE! Love to visit, but don’t want to live there again.

      • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 3:03 am

        Same here Pfenix! We didn’t live directly in L.A. but I lived in L.A. county and OC county for 30 years combined…we left a year ago and I don’t miss it!

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 10:42 am

          Went to Monterey and San Francisco 2 years ago and wished I had visited it when I lived in LA. Fell in love with Monterey Bay Area and that is where I want to retire. Could take a shortcut now that Clint Eastwood is available in Carmel…LOL and THANK YOU Juan Martinez for making sure that JoDie Demoness NEVER returns there.

          • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 11:43 am

            There are some gorgeous area’s in California but they are sooooo expensive! I’d move to Carmel in a heartbeat but it’ll never be in our budget.

  28. Posted by jennIferlyn on June 10, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    So this new defense of “mental illness” for Stabby…you think the news might bring our sub-barkeep back? Carol……Ohh Caaaaaaarol!

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 10, 2013 at 8:34 pm

      Miss our barkeep too…Caaaaaaaaarrrrroooolllll!!!! Come Baaaaaaaack!!!!! Eggy did say the bar is always open, yet it’s not the same. Created some drink specials related to our friend Carol and the BS of JoDie’s Insanity try which won’t fly they already tried…say it again…You LOST the case, SHUT to the HELL UP!!!!

      DRINK SPECIALS:
      Carol Collins – Bacardi Limon Rum, Triple Sec, Cranberry & Pineapple juice

      Carol if you leave us for too long we will have to order a “stiff” drink order…
      Hey Bitch Come Here -Yoo-hoo, Kahlua, Rum, Creme de Cacao, DeKuyper® Buttershots liqueur, Raspberry schnapps, JUST KIDDING!!! Miss U!

      Crazy Girlfriend – Southern Comfort® peach liqueur, De Kuyper Razmatazz Schnapps, Pineapple juice. Starts out sweet and smooth, but ends up fxcking you up, just like JoDie!!!

      Bad Liar – Budweiser Lager Extra, Grey Goose Vodka, also leaves a bad taste in your mouth, like anything that comes out of the Demon’s face hole.

      Insane Asylum – 151 proof rum, Strega® herbal liqueur, Bailey’s® Irish cream, Strawberry liqueur, Samburca, Angostura® bitters, now THAT is insane not JoDie!

      Lay Down and Shut Up (Defense Trio) – Jagermeister, DeKuyper® Hot Damn cinnamon schnapps, Kahlua, Splash of cream.

      Fear not Peeps and Chicks, our hero Juan Martinez is gearing up with motions to go back to trial again…as JoDie likes to say the little yelling man is baaaaaaack!!
      Juanito – Absolut Mandrin vodka, Red Bull, Orange juice, small but strong to take the Demoness back on….Go Juan Go!!!

      Thanks to: http://www.drinksmixer.com/

      \

  29. Carol ohh Caaaaaaaaaarol come back! Caaaaaaaaaaaaaarol!!!!!

    • Posted by GBPL on June 10, 2013 at 7:30 pm

      echo….echooo echooooo… I so didn’t want to keep being the board pest as someone soo inconsiderately nonimated me as.. LOL …j/k…. 😀

      Carol….you are so dearly missed… I’m sure this lot will confess they are quite sick of my antics!!! hehehehehe

      Throw some extra madness in this mix!!!

      • Posted by Pfenix on June 10, 2013 at 11:34 pm

        Here is a drink for you Ms. Board Pest (NOT!!)
        Pesticide: Hpnotiq® liqueur, vodka, Adrenaline Rush energy soda

        There’s your extra madness to the mix

        • Posted by GBPL on June 11, 2013 at 8:18 pm

          lol! That sounds pretty good!! I tried Hypnotiq once, it was such a purrty bottle!

      • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 3:08 am

        Board Pest is a highly coveted position. It’s only one rung down from Bar Keep Egg Beater sub Carol and two rungs under Queen Eggo herself.

      • Noooooooo neverrrrrrrrrr

  30. Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 10:40 am

    On a serious note on vacationing, saw on CNN where 3 people died in the same hotel room in Boone, NC…carbon monoxide
    http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/11/us/north-carolina-hotel-deaths/index.html?hpt=hp_inthenews

    • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 11:45 am

      I read that earlier but they didn’t give the cause. I heard the mom of the little boy had injuries. So sad:(

  31. Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Just saw the stills on HLN of the Jodi Arias story airing on Lifetime. SICK! It’s so pathetic and cheaply done. Commenters said they would NOT be watching…Agreed. Oh, and the wig on Wilmutt is sooooo Bad, and no patch, what the HELL?!?!?!?!?!

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 10:46 am

      and the Juan Martinez actor is NOT hot like the original.

      • Posted by Ria on June 11, 2013 at 11:48 am

        Jenny’s bald spot is missing from the wig and the JM actor looks about 20 years older than him. The only thing I do like is they made the heights between Stabby and Travis realistic, because she was not this tiny thing that barely made it to his shoulder. If you look at the baptism pic of them, she’s just a little bit shorter than him and she has man hands!!!

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 1:48 pm

          If you look at the sidebar, JM and Patches are about the same height. When the Demon stood next to Patches to recreate the broken finger pix, Demon is a head taller than her, which means she is taller than Martinez. The tranqualized turtle is a little bigger than both Patch and Juan put together. Large but NOT in charge.

          • Posted by Mary Jo on June 11, 2013 at 4:29 pm

            OMG! I almost coughed up a lung over THAT one, Pfenix! (may be time to quit smoking?). Too frickin’ funny!!!!!

      • pfenix – I just watched a bit of the interview and when the actor that came on as Juan Martinez started spouting the original lines – I just could not bear watching further and clicked off – the actor definitely is NOT as passionate, hot and convincing as Juan Martinez!

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 11, 2013 at 6:50 pm

          HEARD DAT Peony, can’t even think of an actor right now that could play him, Andy Garcia is too sharp in eyes and features, Al Pacino too old, Jimmy Smits too big. Who has those big brown gentle but strong eyes and distinctive voice?

          • Well IMO Al Pacino would be the only one to adequately portray Juan Martinez but you are right he is too old – If he was about 20 years younger he would be perfect! Can’t think of anyone who has the passion and charisma to carry off the role either.

    • Posted by GBPL on June 12, 2013 at 8:17 pm

      I’ve only seen a few stills from ET.. just the actress portraying the Demon and the
      actor portraying Travis.. Almost worth tuning in to see what you guys are talking about!
      But then again no… There isn’t enough of Pfenix’s drinks that could help me endure that train wreck of a “movie”

  32. Posted by Barb on June 11, 2013 at 11:07 am

    Oh Queen Eggy! You never disappoint!

  33. Posted by Lee Wright on June 11, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    Dearest Hi Queen Egg…. almost time for a new blog if you have the time, you are so wonderfully funny and your followers are increasing daily its taking me forever to get to the end of the blog….please please come to the rescue….

  34. Posted by Observer on June 11, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    The media whoring Jodi Arias foreman can’t keep his mouth shut. Arrogant Know it All Bill Zervakos gave a local news station “an exclusive” last night. News flash. Zervakos voted against death for Jodi Arias. Nobody is surprised since it was obvious the way he was talking right after he hung the penalty phase that he didn’t want the psychopath put to death, even calling her a “human being.” Now he is defending his decision while saying people who criticize him aren’t worth his time. Guess what? He isn’t worth my time either. I turned off the news as soon as I heard he was going to be on.

    • Posted by Mary Jo on June 11, 2013 at 4:23 pm

      Observer — I haven’t watched HLN since the “non-verdict” for the exact reason you above-described. I now get all my Jodi news from The Queen Egg! Thanks for that update & I’m so glad I didn’t have to listen to it! Reading about it (tho no surprise). was disturbing enough. I’m sorry to say that man’s about MY age! WTH!!!

      • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 12, 2013 at 5:10 am

        Same here Mary Jo. No more HLN for me. And that foreman? If he respected the jury system he’d keep his trap SHUT – there are still potential jurors in his own community for the next phase.

      • Posted by Ria on June 12, 2013 at 6:32 am

        I’ve been watching Dr. Drew, he and his guests have been doing theatrical readings of the sidebars and it’s pretty funny. They talked about Stabby’s jail rap sheet last night and the fight she got into with a cell mate.

        • Posted by Observer on June 12, 2013 at 10:54 am

          Of all the jurors who have spoken out Alternate Juror Tara Kelley shared the same views as I do about Jodi Arias. Too bad she wasn’t in the deliberations instead of the foreman. There may have been a unanimous vote for the death penalty. Tara was the juror who asked the question: “After all the lies you told, why should we believe you now.” She didn’t believe Jodi was abused by her parents or Travis, thought the sex tape and PTSD was just a diversion, thinks Jodi is pure evil and should have gotten the death penalty because of the way she made Travis suffer when she murdered him.

          I have been impressed with Tara’s honesty and candor on Twitter, HLN and this site: http://www.simplysickofit.com/jodi-arias-trial/interview-with-tara-kelley-jodi-arias-alternate-juror/#comments

  35. Posted by Donna Beford on June 11, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    Love you sooooo much Eggie queen of quick wit, sweet snark, and maybe a few misfits…… my husband and I are in the front of the line…. You are hilarious and say what we as an egg tribe seem to be thinking …..but with a much better sense of funny, salted with snark and peppered with no nonsense. Hugs, love and a thank you we are happy to have found this blog xo

    ps just a disclaimer……I am actually am on facebook……and I am the loser that loves reading about everyone’s vacations because I want one …….. hugs to all d …..yes d stands for dork

  36. Posted by Pfenix on June 12, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    Vacations…Lord knows I NEED one, but not for awhile for me. Crappy day, hot, tornados, heavy storms, will have to settle for a virtual vacation and a trip to the bar. So I created some Vacation Drink Specials. ENJOY!!!!

    Including the instructions because it shows how funny this drink is…
    Killer Vacation:
    3/4 oz Jack Daniel’s® Tennessee whiskey
    3/4 oz Jim Beam® bourbon whiskey
    3/4 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
    6 – 8 oz cola
    1 splash grenadine syrup

    Pour all ingredients into glass over ice. Float grenadine on top.

    Carnival Cruiser Cocktail:
    1 1/4 oz coconut rum (NOT top shelf)
    3 oz orange juice (not pasteurized or fresh)
    2 oz pineapple juice (canned from God knows where)

    Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker half-filled with dirty ice cubes. Shake well with bartenders e-coli hands, use strain (covered with more bacteria) into a poorly washed highball glass filled with more dirty ice cubes, and serve. Drink many, spend evening sitting on the wastebasket pushing out three days of cheap food buffet gorging and puking into a bag since now the toilets are all busted and everyone is sick.

    That drink Ms. Eggy says we should have at the train bar for our “Me Time”
    The Train: Bacardi® 151 rum, Absolut® vodka, Jagermeister, Malibu® coconut rum, peach schnapp, pineapple juice, cranberry juice…CHOO…CHOO!

    Five Before Flying: bourbon whiskey, Southern Comfort® peach liqueur, creme de bananes, brandy, white creme de cacao, coffee, heavy cream…Yeah, You’ll be FLYING alright.

    Open Road Song: Coca-Cola, Kahlua® coffee liqueur, creme de cacaom Cointreau® orange liqueur, whipped cream, chocolate syrup

    For those on Staycations:
    Virtual Vacation: Myer’s® dark rum, peach schnapps, Malibu® coconut rum, pineapple juice

    Vacation In A Glass: Bailey’s® Irish cream, Havana Club Barrel Proof rum, ice

    • Posted by GBPL on June 12, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      That carnival cruise one!! Too funny!

      and the “Me Time” The Train…looks interesting! I’ve never tasted Jager…I heard it tastes like black licorice, and that taste does not belong in alcohol!! lol

  37. Posted by jennIferlyn on June 12, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    Was I having a nightmare when I saw Heavy D in a pink tutu piroutting across my TV screen with the Homecoming Queen during JVM today?? (it was funny as hell, I just hope I wasn’t hallucinating)

    • Just heard verified on Dr. Drew that Juan is retrying the death penalty phase for JA. It looks like the tutu will be sent to the cleaner for a touch-up, and the Hair-in-a-Can truck will be pulling up to the Wilmott address. Can we stand this one more time? Yes! I also heard the former forman say he has been getting death threats………..really? How does that make sense at all. Threaten someone with death on a death penalty case? The national IQ is not looking really high right now—-must be a whole slew of Einsteins out there.

      • Posted by GBPL on June 12, 2013 at 8:04 pm

        Thanks for the update OSW!
        …i’m jumping all over this thread…from top to middled now from the bottom up!

      • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 13, 2013 at 8:02 am

        I remember an old TV ad for Ron Popiel (sp?) spray on hair.

        Am dreading having to watch Nrumi and Jenny…..they’ll irritate me even more this go-round.

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 1:49 pm

          Can only find the Ronco ad

          • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 13, 2013 at 2:25 pm

            That’s it! Ronco was the name of his company! Thanks Phenix for even more laughs.

            • Posted by GBPL on June 13, 2013 at 7:50 pm

              My husbands Uncle used this one year…He was so proud and showing everyone that didn’t notice… and then when they had to leave, down came a major rain, and he sent his 5 yr old daughter out to the car to get his umbrella so that he wouldn’t get his hair wet!!
              Mind you..not a gentle rain…but torrential down pour!
              She was so happy to be able to get out in it, that he felt totally justified in sending her out because “She wanted to get in the rain!” ha!
              I wonder what the safety factor is, basically spray painting your scalp…and so close to your brain! hmmmmmmm
              I guess no different than coloring/perming/highlighting to an extent!

              • Posted by Pfenix on June 14, 2013 at 1:27 am

                Love the guy with the bald spot mullet…The BABES are back!!!

              • Posted by Ria on June 17, 2013 at 5:45 am

                That’s a great story GB! I seem to remember something in the 80’s called Couvre that was basically the same thing.

  38. It’s now 3 am where I live……..obviously can’t sleep. When I have these nights, I do silly stuff, for example…what if there is something called “Jodi-the Musical”—what would everyone’s theme song be? Oh, yeah, close your eyes and imagine every time Nurmi heaves out of his seat you hear “Baby Elephant Walk” in the background. Wilmott’s theme music is the title song “Hair” Juan’s music is” Tijuana Taxi ” and Jodi’s theme is “Hotel California”. Look up the lyrics to this last one—it fits. I think I am getting sleepy so I will say goodnight.

    • Posted by Ria on June 13, 2013 at 7:45 am

      I’d have to go with Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” for Stabby’s theme song. I’m not 100% sure if it’s true but I read somewhere she actually sang this to Travis over the phone.
      http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/alanismorissette/yououghtaknow.html

      • Gosh that is creepy Ria! Speaking of creeps I’m wondering how they can prevent some creep like the former jury foreman from being chosen again? He doesn’t seem all that mentally stable himself and certainly showed he was too invested in Jodi by wanting to sit down and talk to her after the trial – and referring to Travis as “that murdered guy” instead of by name – He drank the koolaid for sure – but how can that be prevented in the future?

    • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 13, 2013 at 8:00 am

      Love this OSW…very creative way to deal with insomnia!

    • Posted by GBPL on June 13, 2013 at 9:24 am

      very creative indeed! “Baby elephant walk”!! lol

      Ria…that is sooooo creeepy! Yikes!

      ….”when I scratch my nails down someone elses back I hope you feel it…”

      • Posted by Ria on June 17, 2013 at 6:15 am

        If you forward to approx. 1:11:08 she sings the line about scratching nails.

    • OSW – Yikes! Now I can’t get “Baby Elephant Walk” out of my head! It just keeps playing and I see Nurmi lumbering up to approach the judge!

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 1:52 pm

      • Thx for that Pfenix! I’m actually quite fond of elephants – my Dad loved them and had quite a collection of them as figurines – He’d say “they never forget”

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 1:55 pm

      Tijuana Taxi 1960’s Style…Go Go Dancers!!!

      • Posted by GBPL on June 13, 2013 at 7:53 pm

        OH.EMM.GEEE!!!! I was wondering what that song was, and planned on googling it, but forgot!
        Thanks or posting! Now i’ll never look at these guys without these songs going thru my head! 😛

        • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 8:29 pm

          Couldn’t you see them as The Juanitas, Juan’s groupies dancing behind him in the now infamous “Juan Signs Autographs and Takes Poses for Pix” scene. Followed by Jinkasaurus dancing up to box to give her testimony about Juan The ROCKSTAR Martinez at Wormi motion for misconduct by Juan.. Hee Hee

      • Posted by Ria on June 14, 2013 at 2:48 pm

        Note to self: Buy a poncho, poncho’s are amazing!

        • Posted by GBPL on June 15, 2013 at 4:08 pm

          make sure you get one with the dingleberry’s! lol.. i’m sure that’s not what they are called, but too funny!

  39. Posted by NancyB on June 13, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Hi to all!

    JA’s defense files motion to continue penalty phase until January 2014.

    Judge S. has also re-sealed all bench and chamber conferences so as not to bias any new jury

    Here is court document ordering re-sealing of current and all future conferences, meetings: http://www.courtminutes.maricopa.gov/docs/Criminal/062013/m5812262.pdf

    Corey Rangel ‏@CoreyABC15 1m
    #JodiArias’ attorneys want to delay her penalty phase until JANUARY 2014. They filed a motion. Read it here: http://media2.abc15.com/html/pdf/ariasmotion.pdf

  40. Posted by Observer on June 13, 2013 at 11:54 am

    The state is going forward with a new sentencing trial. Nurmi and Wilmott filed a motion today for a continuance to January. Jodi is obviously in no hurry to go to Perryville on death row or in maximum security and Nurmi and Wilmott are enjoying their vacation from the convicted murderess. I think the judge might continue the sentencing trial to September because of the lawyer’s conflicts. That would give Nurmi and Wilmott enough time to find witnesses.

    http://media2.abc15.com/html/pdf/ariasmotion.pdf

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 1:22 pm

      Yeah, let’s see how another couple of months in 23 hour a day lockdown feels for the murderous demonesssssssss. Or she thinks the wait will be worth it and she will get Life. WHATEVER Loseress!!!!

    • Observer – Thx for that! One thing that disturbs me is that the judge (Sherry) is due to be moved to another court very soon and if that happens and a new judge is brought in the new judge will not be familiar with all the b.s. that has gone on in this trial and may not be as likely to sentence the Demon to LWOP if it comes to that in a new trial.

      • Posted by Observer on June 13, 2013 at 3:06 pm

        Peony, I wouldn’t worry. Judges sometimes stay with a trial even if they are moved to a new court. Even if Judge Stevens will not be presiding over the Jodi Arias sentencing retrial, there won’t be a judge in Maricopa County that isn’t familiar with this case. Maybe a new judge will be less passive and tolerant of Nurmi’s and Wilmott’s pity party games.

        • Well Observer I’m not looking forward to more of “the tranquilized turtle” and “Jenny bald spot the Home Coming Queen hopeful” babbling away and “may we approach” every 2 seconds but I guess Stabby gets a reprieve of sorts to be in with her homegirls at the jail instead of in prison. Seems a real tragedy that it takes 6 years to punish this murdering shrew but I’m sure she will be reading up her law books to find new mitigating circumstances and witnesses to support her bid for staying alive.

          Since she is handier to her current new boyfriend and Donoman does she get more visiting privileges and could she even elect to get married? I’m curious if conjugal rights goes with being in jail rather than prison? Does anyone know? So now my imagination is running away with me – what if she got pregnant? That would be a heck of a mitigating circumstance wouldn’t it?

          • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 4:05 pm

            Donoman is a convicted felon and is currently facing probabtion violations for I think being in court. Now that both of them are felons-no visiting privilages.

            This is Arizona and no conjugal visits in jail or in max prison…Perryville.

            Here is the their policy on marriage.
            The Arizona Department of Corrections permits offenders to marry someone of the opposite sex, provided that the marriage is legal and does not pose a risk to the safe, secure and orderly operation of the Department or jeopardize public safety. Permission to marry does not supersede or change any instructions governing visitation, release procedures, mail and property or phone calls.

            An offender applying to marry should review Department Order 904 at their library for an outline of the process.

            You can check more about it on their website: http://www.azcorrections.gov/adc/divisions/newsuppdiv/Inmate_Marriages.aspx

            Also in the last post we have posted videos from a former Deputy Warden of Arizona who explains what prison in Perryville and islation is like for inmates, if you haven’t seen those.

            • Thanks I did see those so when she gets to Perryville it will be a whole new ballgame but since she is in Maricopa and was so buddy-buddy with the inmates there and had that guy (can’t remember his name) so convinced she was such a good person and phoning her or visiting seemed like daily at the beginning of the trial (I’ll have to go back and see what I can find) just had the idea he might still be hanging around –
              We all know what a convincing liar she is and such a manipulator just thought there might be some devious mischief afoot with the delay till January –

              • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 4:51 pm

                Since being in lockdown she can only have so many visitors and phone calls. Unlike during the trial where she had unlimited access to the phones at night and more visitors. There is some limitations now but I get the concern as a MANipulator.

                • Well we know she is a conniving creature so I’m quite sure she is scheming something – after all she’s not got much else to do with her life and she’s been pretty forward about planning all those TV interviews and the continuing Twitter account and the sale of her copied artwork – so there will be more scheming going on now I am positive!
                  After all she planned the murder so well had it not been for the camera and her hand print she may well have had reasonable doubt as a defense –
                  She now has lots of time to come up with some mitigating circumstances to give her leniency and you can bet that’s what she’s now doing

                  • Posted by Ria on June 14, 2013 at 7:56 am

                    I’ve been re-watching the trial on youtube Peony and I was thinking the same thing. Had she not left that camera behind and put the one handprint on the wall, she may very well have got away with murder. That was some divine intervention with those accidental pics.

                    • Ria – LOL….I too have been re-watching the trial – I think I just wanted to hear Mr. Juanderful again! “Isn’t it true”…….He’s just such a great prosecutor! But what struck me watching the Croaker Queen videos on Utube (she’s great btw) was how composed Stabby was – how carefully she chose her words, how her daily “my twin doll” outfits matched Jenny with the bald spot.
                      What also has struck me is just how nasty the defense team of the tranquilized turtlle doing his elephant walk up to “may we approach” and Jenny doing her “I almost was a model” ramp strut to the bench really were – constantly forwarding motions for mistrial and whatever other mud they could throw at the court. Then those bleeping defense witnesses – the apologizing LaToilette and “I’ll bring you a gift” Samuels and the other I’ve never spoken to the defendent but I’m an expert who can spill water……sad sacks the lot of them – and finally the ultimate misfit – the jury foreman who obviously drank the Demons koolaid from the minute he first laid eyes on her and thought “she doesn’t look like a murderess” and quit listening to the rest of the trial – but sat and fantasized about doing a little sex talk with Jodi in the after hours club.

                      There must have been divine intervention for the guys who were going to go camping with Jodi and her new 9 mm gun and new knives – or this story would have had a much bigger casualty list I am sure. Appropriate new artwork for her would be a prison tattoo “Wicked Woman” right across her forehead just to give everyone a head up!

                    • Posted by Ria on June 14, 2013 at 11:12 am

                      LOL I’d forgotten about the witness spilling his water and burping/farting on the stand! It is interesting re-watching the video’s, Stabby was having so much fun up there. But seriously, what were the odds of the camera falling and snapping that pic of poor Travis’ body, all bloodied, and Stabby’s foot!

                    • Posted by pfenix on June 14, 2013 at 2:22 pm

                      Her best artwork ever was accidentally snapping the photos during the murder, Kudos to the NON-talent.

                      Don’t believe the I packed a gun and knives to go camping story…BS no! Just another lie, she was packed to flee from the police and use the weapons again to “survive”. Luckily she is NOT that smart, and the police caught up to her before she tried to flee justice.

                      Have faith in Arizona, let her try to delay the evitable, she either dies or does life.

                    • Posted by Ria on June 14, 2013 at 8:14 pm

                      Juan at his finest!!!

                    • Posted by GBPL on June 15, 2013 at 11:30 am

                      Thanks for posting Ria! It is his finest! He never lets her get the upper hand.
                      i ❤ Juan!!!

                • Posted by Ria on June 15, 2013 at 1:35 pm

                  I have to confess, I didn’t like him at first…I didn’t realize what a method there was to his madness. But he so craft-fully exposed her for what she truly is! Genius, pure genius.

                  • Posted by GBPL on June 15, 2013 at 3:52 pm

                    i didn’t either!!!! I thought he was way too aggressive!!!

                    But then I got to see what he was up against…then the aggressiveness seemed very justified!

                    • Posted by Pfenix on June 15, 2013 at 7:33 pm

                      The way heartless, souless, lying, butcher demons should be treated. He hates liars, and stupidity in court.

            • Posted by sharon on June 17, 2013 at 9:37 am

              Key words “opposite sex”

          • Posted by Ria on June 14, 2013 at 4:48 pm

            Pfenix and Peony…A hell YA to both of you!

            • Posted by Pfenix on June 14, 2013 at 10:33 pm

              So Ms. Ria are you having Juan withdrawal as well…hee hee. Juan is one of the few “real” lawyers that is not only intelligent and articulate, but is entertaining whereas real trials can be very boring. He was made for media, difference from other trials.

              Love how he uses…RiIGHT? Or says back to her…fxcking kill you bitch. …
              Best shirts from the trial:
              I (heart), right? JUAN Martinez,
              Do you love Juan Martinez, YES or NO?
              I ask the questions!

    • Posted by Ria on June 14, 2013 at 8:28 pm

      You have so many awesome links Observer! Going to check this one out right now:)

  41. Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    It’s June 13th, do YOU know what day it is. It’s Juan Martinez’s BIRTHDAY!!! Feliz cumpleaños un hombre apuesto!!!

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 1:42 pm

      Drinks all around for our Juan’s Birthday. SALUD!!!!!!

      Happy Birthday drink recipe made with Blue Curacao,Coconut Cream,Triple Sec,.

      For the Dumbscum Defense Duo: Happy Birthday Motherfxcker
      made with Absolut Citron Vodka, Tanqueray Gin, Raspberry Schnapps, Triple Sec, Sweet and Sour Mix, Orange juice, Rum

      Café Don Juan made with Dark Rum, Kahlua, Black Coffee, Whipped Cream, Sugar

      Juan More made with White Tequila, Blue Curacao, Grapefruit juice, Lemon juice, Orange juice

      San Juan Cooler made with Bacardi white Rum, Dry Vermouth, Pineapple juice

      Bad Juan made with White Tequila, Triple Sec, Lime Juice. Blend with ice to make a frozen Bad Juan!!!

      Juanito (Little Juan) made with Absolut Mandrin Vodka, Red Bull, Orange juice

      Prosecutor made with Rye, Elderflower liqueur, Lemon juice, Herbal liqueur

  42. Salud to Juan and I’ll have a Cafe’ Don Juan please to toast him on his birthday!

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 13, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      Wouldn’t mind Juan Champagn…Mr. Martinez in a giant cocktail glass that burlesque dancers use or if you honeymooning in the Poconos used to have in their HM Suites. LOL….oh, mmm I should save that one for later.

  43. Posted by Andrea on June 14, 2013 at 12:46 am

    Oh, egg of my heart… I miss you so…

  44. Posted by Ria on June 14, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    This was on t.v. today:) Oh good times…good times back in the 80’s:)

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 14, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      Oooooohhhhh YES!!!! Filmed during my senior year, blew everyone away!!!! God Bless John Hughes, and the SOUNDTRACK, worn that tape down to nothing. First time I saw Emilio Estevez…o.k. who pissed off their boyfriend to watch the credits to find out who he was…or who Keifer Sutherland was in Stand By Me or Lost Boys. Purrrrrrrroooowwwwww!!
      Jammin Ria!!!! Poor Wilmutt she can dream of being Claire.

      • Posted by Ria on June 15, 2013 at 1:31 pm

        And Sixteen Candles! I have the dvd and that movie just never gets old for me:)

  45. Posted by Pfenix on June 15, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    The final scene still makes me cry especially today since it was my birthday and nothing went right, wrong restaurant, no birthday cake but sour cream puffs which I hate, and gifts I can not use because of the injuries I am recovering from. People ment well but didn’t listen or forgot. In the end it’s o.k. because like Sammi my family loves me and I am lucky to have them. Just wish tomorrow that I would have a Jake pick me up in his Porche and well here is the end…

    • Happy Birthday Pfenix! If we – your online family could wrap you in our arms and give you a big hug we would – But know you are loved! Know you are special! Know we need you to be in our lives and Know we look forward to your words – every day – Hugs & smooches sweet Pfenix – Your Famiy right here online!

      • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 16, 2013 at 4:10 am

        Happy Birthday Phenix! There will be other birthdays that go well – so just chalk this one up for now.

    • Posted by Ria on June 16, 2013 at 8:00 am

      Happy Birthday Pfenix! I’m a June baby too:) Sorry the day went topsy turvy like that:(

      Love this final scene!!!

    • Posted by Pfenix on June 16, 2013 at 10:47 pm

      Awwww…thanks so much chicks and peeps. Also had my first REAL drink in 10 months, a chocolate Martini with Godiva Liquere…oh, so yummy, but YOW hit me. Jake didn’t show up today, but I am blessed with a GREAT dad. Count you eggs and your blessings!

  46. Posted by Cindy Lou on June 15, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    Happy Birthday pfenix xxoo!

  47. Here’s to all the fathers out there who have stayed the course in tough times. My father taught my mother to walk again after a brain tumor surgery left her partially paralyzed. I was 13 at the time and I still see that big man lift my mother in his arms and take her to the set of bars he had built for her in our den. That is the essence of a man and that is the kind of man I finally married when we were both in our late 50’s. My father would have loved my big husband. Happy father’s day Big Dave!!

    • Posted by Marnie Paige on June 16, 2013 at 4:18 am

      Sweet story OSW. My Dad is no longer with us – he and my mother were childhood sweethearts and married 65 yrs – died suddenly within 7 weeks of each other and at the time I was devastated with their loss but now feel nothing but love and gratification for the example they gave us all of how to live life with lots of joy and even silliness – and lots of heartache too. As a family they gave us strength to withstand anything – even death. I celebrate my Dad today – husband too for the bang up job he does with our dogs!

  48. Posted by Pfenix on June 16, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    A mode of transportation not mentioned is vacationing by Greyhound Bus. Long hours, tight seats, crazy people, stuffy atmosphere, and the worst CRANKY bus drivers. Here is a video of one driver who made this announcement on the way to Washington DC; after he yelled at a mother with her crying baby.

    Everyone should travel Greyhound once in their life, and then never again.

    • Posted by Ria on June 17, 2013 at 6:20 am

      Wow, he must be former military or something…he’s not messing around! If he has kids I bet they never got out of line!

  49. Posted by GBPL on June 17, 2013 at 8:02 pm

    Hey everyone! Been SUPER busy!… I guess thats a good thing,…but since we were on the topic of pets, waaaay up there,..I wanted to add this little link.
    If anyone is on Pinterest, its made its round on there, but it is so funny!
    It looks long, but as soon as you start reading..you’ll keep wanting more!!
    The humor reminds me of Eggy’s! 😉

    http://9gag.com/gag/3363343

    • Posted by Ria on June 18, 2013 at 7:17 am

      I’ll definitely check this out later GB. Super busy here too, my in-laws are coming for a week so I’ll have a nice break from all things Stabby related:)

  50. Just checked it out, funny but can’t touch Queen Egg!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: